Hey all! I am applying for the QuestBridge National College Match. I would appreciate it if I can get some feedback on my essay! Please DO NOT copy or plagiarize my work. Thank you!
The prompt is: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow? 800 words
The horizon is slowly swallowing the sun, leaving the sky in a chaotic mix of purple, pink, and orange. As the bus approaches my stop, I pull on the yellow string and stumble towards the exit. The door creaks open, and I shiver at the sudden blast of icy coolness. I hop off and hug myself as I hurry home. Dad snores loudly on the sofa, and I quietly scurry off to my room to disassemble my backpack and shed the multiple layers of clothing. I rush to the kitchen, where Mom is busy making dinner, and start washing the dishes in the sink. At dinner, Shawn and Lassa are howling incessantly, and Douachee and Susan are busy watching YouTube videos. Mom and Dad are quiet, and I pray they stay this way. I had already disposed of the remnants of last night, the only evidence being a knife with a broken handle. After dinner, I lock myself in my room to start on my homework. However, not long after, shouts ripple through the air and break my concentration. With great reluctance, I take a deep breath and head out.
Mom and Dad don't love each other, but they love my siblings and me. If there's anything that my parents can agree on, it's making sure their children have a good education. Dad does not make much money, but he spends a lot on school supplies and out-of-state field trips. There was nothing he couldn't afford for us. Mom always drops my siblings and me off at school and picks me up if I stay late instead of me having to take the city bus. Noticing their efforts, I spend hours at libraries studying after school with teachers to make sure I pass my classes. Obtaining good grades was my way to thank my parents for their hard work. As immigrants from Laos, my parents didn't have the experience to teach or guide us in a world completely different from their own. The responsibility fell on me to learn everything by myself and pass it on to my siblings. I have encountered a lot in my journey of learning, from getting lost downtown trying to find my city bus, and having the police come find me to earning my first job. They were experiences that introduced me to a world different from the one I had previously known, and I grew a little more with each one.
As the oldest of 5, I took on the role of caretaker at an early age. While my parents are busy or at work, I cook for my younger siblings, make sure they do their homework, and attend to the household chores washing dishes or doing the laundry. Through taking care of my siblings, I experienced how hard it was for my mom to take care of five of us. Little kids won't listen, and they don't know the consequences of their actions. I can still recall the sheer terror I felt when my little brother went missing for nearly an hour. A kind couple had found him on the next block over and returned him. It seems us siblings have a knack for getting lost and causing mass panic. But from chasing a naked 2-year-old around the house to bickerings with a rebellious teen, I learned to be patient and responsible. My patience at home was a skill that I took to the homework center, where I was tutoring young students, and to work, when I was dealing with a difficult customer. Sometimes, the best teachers can be the ones you least expect.
But my teachers were not just limited to home and school; books and the internet were also my teachers. Every morning before school starts, I take my breakfast down to the library and start reading. My day begins and ends with a book because it gives me something to think about at night and look forward to in the morning. The internet gave me access to a whole new level of learning. My interest in computers stemmed from when I received my first laptop, and it has kept growing since. When I learned that there was a lack of females in the STEM field, it instilled a desire in me to contribute and increase women's representation in the STEM industry.
My education is what inspires me to make a difference. I learn from numerous people and I will continue to learn on my journey. Learning is infinite and I want to pursue my passion for it in the time that I'm allowed. There will be obstacles ahead, but I'm not afraid to challenge them. I started this journey for my family, but I will end it with me.
to make a difference
The prompt is: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow? 800 words
The horizon is slowly swallowing the sun, leaving the sky in a chaotic mix of purple, pink, and orange. As the bus approaches my stop, I pull on the yellow string and stumble towards the exit. The door creaks open, and I shiver at the sudden blast of icy coolness. I hop off and hug myself as I hurry home. Dad snores loudly on the sofa, and I quietly scurry off to my room to disassemble my backpack and shed the multiple layers of clothing. I rush to the kitchen, where Mom is busy making dinner, and start washing the dishes in the sink. At dinner, Shawn and Lassa are howling incessantly, and Douachee and Susan are busy watching YouTube videos. Mom and Dad are quiet, and I pray they stay this way. I had already disposed of the remnants of last night, the only evidence being a knife with a broken handle. After dinner, I lock myself in my room to start on my homework. However, not long after, shouts ripple through the air and break my concentration. With great reluctance, I take a deep breath and head out.
Mom and Dad don't love each other, but they love my siblings and me. If there's anything that my parents can agree on, it's making sure their children have a good education. Dad does not make much money, but he spends a lot on school supplies and out-of-state field trips. There was nothing he couldn't afford for us. Mom always drops my siblings and me off at school and picks me up if I stay late instead of me having to take the city bus. Noticing their efforts, I spend hours at libraries studying after school with teachers to make sure I pass my classes. Obtaining good grades was my way to thank my parents for their hard work. As immigrants from Laos, my parents didn't have the experience to teach or guide us in a world completely different from their own. The responsibility fell on me to learn everything by myself and pass it on to my siblings. I have encountered a lot in my journey of learning, from getting lost downtown trying to find my city bus, and having the police come find me to earning my first job. They were experiences that introduced me to a world different from the one I had previously known, and I grew a little more with each one.
As the oldest of 5, I took on the role of caretaker at an early age. While my parents are busy or at work, I cook for my younger siblings, make sure they do their homework, and attend to the household chores washing dishes or doing the laundry. Through taking care of my siblings, I experienced how hard it was for my mom to take care of five of us. Little kids won't listen, and they don't know the consequences of their actions. I can still recall the sheer terror I felt when my little brother went missing for nearly an hour. A kind couple had found him on the next block over and returned him. It seems us siblings have a knack for getting lost and causing mass panic. But from chasing a naked 2-year-old around the house to bickerings with a rebellious teen, I learned to be patient and responsible. My patience at home was a skill that I took to the homework center, where I was tutoring young students, and to work, when I was dealing with a difficult customer. Sometimes, the best teachers can be the ones you least expect.
But my teachers were not just limited to home and school; books and the internet were also my teachers. Every morning before school starts, I take my breakfast down to the library and start reading. My day begins and ends with a book because it gives me something to think about at night and look forward to in the morning. The internet gave me access to a whole new level of learning. My interest in computers stemmed from when I received my first laptop, and it has kept growing since. When I learned that there was a lack of females in the STEM field, it instilled a desire in me to contribute and increase women's representation in the STEM industry.
My education is what inspires me to make a difference. I learn from numerous people and I will continue to learn on my journey. Learning is infinite and I want to pursue my passion for it in the time that I'm allowed. There will be obstacles ahead, but I'm not afraid to challenge them. I started this journey for my family, but I will end it with me.
