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My journey' life that pushed me forward to be as a leader who braves to confront with any challanges



supapatw 2 / 3  
Nov 1, 2017   #1
@Holt
Could you please check the essay for me in 3 topics?

Thank you so much ^__^

Leadership essay



Since I was 13 years old, I went out from my home where was the starting of my journey' life that pushed me forward to be as a leader who braves to confront with any upcoming outside. From that situation, I learned from experience with leadership not only words to say what is the meaning but it will also happen by action that has more meaningful, so, my leadership came from along way of my life since I was at schools, university and until working in presents period.

As a kid, I was always afraid to express in front of people that someday I realized, I wanted to be more confident. After that the moment, I tried to join in a lot of activities. Until, when I studied in grade 8, I was chosen to be a representative of the classroom to go on the stage to demonstrate to thanks the teachers in the annual ceremony Teachers' day observation. Moreover, I was a classroom president, its were an important opportunity for me to learn how to be a leader and more self- confident.

On the one hand, when I studied in the university, I also had many opportunities, I became the head of a lot of the activities in the university not only in the classroom but it also related to other educational organization. For example, I was the representative of the university to compete for the marketing plan of Thailand by MAT(Marketing Association of Thailand) and attended in the marketing research seminar with other universities. Apart from as the representative, I had occasion hold the big seminar, I had to cooperate with organizations and businesses to invite an executive of the companies and a person who relevance to lecture, including publicized the seminar. All over the period in the university, that brought me to be the person who knew how to led people to work together happily and knew working did not from command but it was always happened by doing as a role model for colleagues.

After I graduated, I had a chance to be the representative of the company to deal with new customers that made the company revenues more than 1 million dollars in each year.

As I worked at the company, I led people who older than me to do new activities that would bring the company better, such as, design and planning the production of a new product to create extra revenue. In addition from working, on the weekends, I went to do activities about religious with communities in many provinces, I had a task to prepared places in every process and had to contact with Buddhist monks. On another hand, at the formal procedure, I was a moderator to inform the information to more than 500 peoples who attended in each time that developed my leadership to express with many people and learned how to be a good leader to handle the difficult situations.

Ultimately, I always know the experiences it provided me better, furthermore, I desire intentionally to be a good role model, to inspire people and help the communities. So, I think Chevening scholarship will give the opportunity to bring me grow up and carry me forward to be a better leader than I ever.

One essay at one time only

inok26 5 / 15  
Nov 1, 2017   #2
@supapatw
You have some pretty good ideas. Unfortunately, your presentation is marred by numerous grammatical blunders. For instance in the last paragraph of essay 3, I tried to rephrase it this way:

In conclusion, I strongly believe I will be involved in activities that will not only help in pursuing my goals but to also do well in business. I also aspire to share my knowledge with others in order to improve their lives. My ambition is tied to activities that agrees with the UK to develop Thailand and help people achieve success, who do not have the opportunity of this scholarship.

There are many other instances I noticed, you really need to pay attention to your grammar and tenses.


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