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"joy in coming across an old book" - Fellowship Essay, academic achievements



neha154 2 / 3  
Mar 22, 2011   #1
Hi,

I have to write a one-page essay (500 words maximum) describing how your academic achievements and professional experience deem you qualified to receive a fellowship.
Please go thru below text and advice of any changes/suggestions
______________________________________________________________________

Have you ever found joy in coming across an old book and the urge to read it over again, in spite of having read it several times earlier? Well the same is the case with me. I relate my interest in the field of Software Technology to the same. I do have the background knowledge and the technical experience, but my desire for discovery and insatiable thirst for knowledge is the essence of pursuing the Masters of Science - Software Engineering (MS-SE) course.

I was a favorite among my teachers and fellow classmates referred me as teacher's pet. It is not just studies that I have been interested in. I participated in various dance competitions, elocution contests, general knowledge quizzes, and sports events. However, academic excellence gave me the opportunity to take up and excel in the courses that interested me most.

On completing my undergraduate studies, I started working for Zensar. My teacher at school once told me, "If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade." At Zensar, I was given an opportunity to travel to London (UK) initially for a short duration and then again for long term with an expanded set of responsibilities and I made the most of this opportunity. Clients from the Marks and Spencer (M&S) project at Zensar appreciated my business acumen, eye for details, team mentoring and specialist technical skills along with high integrity and quick problem solving abilities.

At Zensar, I worked on a few projects in different roles, which helped me better understand the processes and phases right from the Request for Proposal (RFP), requirements gathering, architecture designing, software development, testing, debugging, deployment to production systems, quality assurance to maintenance. Though the systems were stable, I always strived to find out ways to further improve the performance of existing applications. I was also involved in various cross training programs with colleagues to share our knowledge.

However, no one is perfect and I have had my fair share of mistakes. My managers pointed out my grey areas which needed improvement. It was then that I gradually developed my written communication skills.

If I had to choose between academic excellence and practical knowledge, I would say during the initial stages academic excellence is very important and as your gain more work experience, practical knowledge is most useful. This dawned upon me during my years of service at Zensar.

I strongly feel that I will be able to relate my work experiences to my academic and professional goals during the academic course at Carnegie Mellon University. Receiving a fellowship will motivate me further to push myself to excel. Receiving a fellowship is a big thing for me as it would be my moral responsibility to not let CMU down but to make you proud of offering me the fellowship.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Mar 24, 2011   #2
Nice opening paragraph!

I was a favorite among my teachers, and fellow classmates referred to me as teacher's pet.

After completing my undergraduate studies, I started working for Zensar.

Though the systems were stable, I always strove to find out ways to further improve the performance of existing applications.

However, no one is perfect and I have made my fair share of mistakes.

If I had to choose between academic excellence and practical knowledge, I would say during the initial stages academic excellence is most important, and as you gain more work experience, practical knowledge is most useful.

I would be shock to hear you did not get the fellowship, as you're a perfect candidate, well spoken, intelligent and focused. Good luck in school!

:)


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