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Being a leader that expects everyone is as driven as himself - Chevening

elhamkhan 1 / 2  
Nov 3, 2019   #1

Leadership and influence essay

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer. (100-500)?

When I was eight years old, since the domination of Taliban regime that my parents had suffered harshly circumstances: Bad economic conditions, environmental pressures and unemployment of my family members made me to think forward and make a decision. And I soon took charge of providing my family with food and other necessities.

Meanwhile, no boys or girls were allowed to go to school in the first couple years of Taliban's ruling of Afghanistan. In the 1998, some educational centers was established for studying and teaching informally but I was motivated and enthusiastic for learning to improve their country through economic development and growth efforts. In 2001, the new government is established; schools and universities were opened immediately. Then, I was studying English language in PAD (Partnership Academic Development) led by native speakers in Balkh province. Therefore my English language spoken became fluent or effective and I had been taught this language in Jahan e Link educational center. Furthermore, I studied mathematics and natural science in the educational centers, for problem solving to school textbooks, to accept ranking three in my class in the school terms and My milestone leadership experience came from being named the instructor of the sections I visually taught following sections in private educational centers or as tutor, being succession my students in university entrance exam across the country according to their choices, following majors including Law, Economy, Engineering faculties. Through my college terms, my focus was not only on my studies, but I did also dedicate sufficient time to volunteer activities such as working as team leader in Peaceful Youth Association funding by SDO (Sanayee Development Organization),responsible to creating economic committee. I always accompanied my classmates' problems especially in Micro-economics, Macro-economics, Mathematics and financial accounting in the university terms and conferences. In alongside of my pure academic and experiences, I was as Admin/ finance officer in Behsazan e Nawin Roads & Construction Company, whilst we faced Taliban denies and threats, there was construction of school project for unread people of Drausof district in Samangan province. Meanwhile, I clearly remember when they came to kidnapping me with site engineer insight the night, which it was fatal nightmare for us, briefly they unleashed us to torture against huge money, abundance challenges assimilate to death being available in the Afghanistan that our people are suffering seriously and fatally. My work experience has taught me one thing: that I work best when given the independence to develop my own ideas. This translates to me being a leader that expects everyone is as driven as myself and has high expectations of my peers, what other people define as a pacesetter.

One essay at one time

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Nov 5, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! Hopefully, my feedback will give you a better idea on how to improve your writing.

First and foremost, balancing your writing is extremely important even though it's often overlook. Whether it's through the distribution of content, or keeping every detail symmetrical when you are typing, you have to ensure that you are delivering with as much balance as possible. This will truly help you manage your writing a lot more better throughout.

Furthermore, I recommend trying to derive a core attribute/value when you are writing. For example, before giving story-telling about your life, try to introduce a value that backs all of your data in order to give you a better grip of the direction of writing you are facing. Bear this in mind.

Best of luck with your Chevening application.
OP elhamkhan 1 / 2  
Nov 7, 2019   #3
Hi, Maria. Thank you so much for giving me valuable advice.😁😁 I am really appreciated.

Next time I will try to balance my writing and manage them more consizable. Furthermore, I will try to introduce a value that backs all of my data when I am writing.
izecsony5 4 / 9 2  
Nov 14, 2019   #4
Hi @elhamkhan

I think you should fix your essay structure, especially on third paragraph because 2 main idea mixed in 1 paragraph were confusing. The body paragraph become less focus that make the readers do not get your main points. Furthermore, that body paragraph are mixed with conclusion is disaster. You should separate them to make it clear.
OP elhamkhan 1 / 2  
Nov 16, 2019   #5
Hi @izecsony5, thanks a lot to your valuable feedback and directions for my essay structures is really recognized confusing.
with best wishes to your longer contributed.

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