Question: Describe a personal life experience that has had particular significance for you and highlight the reason(s) it was significant, whether it had an impact on others, and any insights or understandings you gained from it. (800 word maximum)
I had no idea how much altering the environment might affect a gathering of individuals. This was a common experience for me in both my head student role and my basketball adventure. Before every game in a team sports event, I would take the initiative to bring my squad around for a pep talk. This was noteworthy in part because it required me to get out of my comfort zone and interact with students whom I didn't know well. Our basketball team needed this because we didn't have a strong team dynamic and everyone was acting independently, missing a sense of community. During practices, some people wore headphones, while others used their phones, some people even arrived to practice thirty minutes late. I've since realized that in order for this team to come close to doing anything, a change is necessary.
It was uneasy at first. I don't have to do this, my mind keeps telling me. "What if they don't listen? What if they don't care?" is all it says. My mind is making up these own fantasies, so why not ask myself, "What if they listen? What if they care?" It's these hypothetical questions that motivate me to take action. I begin by introducing myself to students and getting to know them better by posing straightforward questions like "What's your name?" and "How long have you been playing for?" that genuinely foster a feeling of being a part of. Gradually, a feeling of community was established. I recalled that instead of implementing significant changes, we begin with tiny ones-marginal gains-that eventually add up to a bigger shift. As I got to know them better, I started some enjoyable basketball games at the conclusion of practices. Of these, I'm most pleased of the one in which a player makes both free throws and the team is spared from having to run. I can still picture those identical expressions and those applauses for their teammate who was in 'danger'. "You got this, let the ball fly, trust yourself," are some of the statements that demonstrate how I have helped the squad members feel like they belong.
Every practice ended with an "after pep talk," in which I gathered the entire team to discuss my thoughts on the practice that day, including what went well and what could be improved. Before, when the bell came, they would simply head to the locker room, grab their change, and head home without saying goodbye-as if heading to practice was a duty. Since the sense of community has been built, none of this ever happens again, and they all know that this talk is a must. During our talk, I was particularly pleased with them for the times when they spoke up and offered their ideas-especially the more reserved ones-because it demonstrates that they genuinely care about our team.
This led to our team placing second in the Ho Chi Minh Basketball Championship and taking first in a charity competition. In the end, we performed as a team, stayed in sync, and coordinated plays and strategies. Surprisingly, it was the quieter players who approached the players at the end of the championship and said, "Get in, we have something to say," rather than me who rallied the team. It is evident that I have had an influence on them since, contrary to what previously seemed inconceivable, other people are now taking the initiative.
This has taught me that a leader is not someone who is in charge and issues directives; rather, a leader is someone whose main objective is to bring out the best in each member of an organization so that everyone is working toward a common objective. Additionally, it fosters a sense of community and trust since players know how to support one another when their opponents criticize one another. They did this because they knew the other player would do the same for them. A leader holds that anyone may be a leader, that there is no such thing as a hierarchy, and that each person's function is equally important. To make a change is to take initiative, to be courageous enough to step out of their comfort zone to help the team achieve greater success.
1) is it too long?
2) was it answering the question?
Thanks for reviewing this and I would appreciate a lot of your help
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The first sentence needs to be revised. Clarify that you mean the environment of a person, a group situation, or a collective mindset. As of now, that sentence indicates natural surroundings rather than a community or group setting. Establish the correct reference at the very start so that the reviewer will have a better idea of what you are referring to.
I do not find the essay to be too long. It is a narrative that actually explains your response using actions and situations. You are using the word count properly. Every paragraph moves your narrative forward. You have established a very strong response to the writing guide. Something not usually accomplished with the first draft of a student. Good job !
