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Livestock officer - Chevening leadership and enfluencer essay



mimi88 1 / -  
Aug 9, 2019   #1

my motivation to be a leader



I used to be class representative when I was at secondary and university level but My first time as after I was employed by the government as a livestock officer back in 2014. I was given a duty to go the village named xxxxx to brand animal with iron brand as the policy of the national through ministry of livestock and fishery development when I arrived to that village I come to realize that no preparation and information the livestock keeper where given also the village haven't executive officer who was supposed to attend so I supposed to work as a village executive also a livestock officer so I started afresh to tell them the importance and the advantage of that operation and the instruction given by the government. At first the livestock keepers were adamant that they don't want their animal to be branded because they have their own brand so it took me a lot of energy to convince them but at the end they agreed with me.

Also during the operation itself they were not ready to help me to brand animals by saying that I have paid to do it by myself I started to convince them that If we will do it together we will do it fast and accurately than leaving me alone to do it. So I divided them with three groups one group will prepare fire other will catch the animal and the other will brand the animal. Instead of using five days for 1400 cattle we used only two days and the livestock keeper where satisfied.

Now I am working as a livestock officer at xxxxxx township authority in my organization dealing with livestock activities leading sixteen extension officers and 20 field student, I am responsible of preparing programs of work such as vaccination program, and budget and present it to the general meeting of the xxxx township committee that committee will ask questions and I will respond by explanation and they will pass it for further action. This position I have now motivate me to be a leader of large group of people or an organization due to the experience I get from my work place.

Maria - / 1096  
Aug 10, 2019   #2
@mimi88
Hi there. Welcome to this forum. I'm here to provide you with feedback on this writing!

Firstly, technicalities-wise, I heavily suggest that you try to standardize your writing in accordance to academic writing standards. From the first paragraph, it is already noticeable how the essay needs a bit more clarity in terms of structure. For instance, ensure that you're using more appropriate pauses with the usage of punctuation marks. These are small details - however, in the larger scheme of things, they do still matter heavily.

While it's generally alright to be specific with details, try to compress your stories in order to prioritize and highlight what parts are truly necessary to be paid attention to.


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