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Making Amends with My Reflection- NTU Scholarship Essay



Angie_Felicia 2 / 3  
Dec 12, 2013   #1
Describe, in less than 300 words, a short essay on a subject of personal importance to you. You may choose any topic. Examples include: an event which has influenced you or a family member/friend/person who had a significant influence on you.

I never looked straight in the mirror since ninth grade. Any kind of mirror used to be my enemy: car windows, puddles, and even the back of my metal iPod. My bed and bathroom's mirror was covered with magazine articles at a certain height to avoid seeing my reflection. This was caused by a severe skin condition that majority of teens fret over- acnes, cyst acnes to be precise.

My self-esteem and social life was curtailed under acne's regime. The perennial fear of being taunted by my peers and teachers made me spent an extra time in the morning to cover it with make up and grew my hair long. My mother tried everything she could to be normal like my two sisters: home remedies, topical drugs, laser, as well as birth controls. We went through more than a dozen dermatologists in town, only ending up with disappointment. Thus, I had decided to give up the thought of cure for my horrid face. That was, until my English teacher came to the rescue.

Two years ago, she offered to sign me up for a speech competition. At first, I rejected it as I tend to avoid eye contact and speak in low volume; somehow, there was a small voice saying, 'She believed in you. Why do not you believe in yourself?' and I gave myself a chance. During my speech preparation, she made me face the mirror and told me to love myself. 'You are not the only one with problems. I cannot bear any children because of my obesity.' Her words still linger vividly. She made me realize how foolish it was to run away from reality. Since then, I took off the magazine articles on my mirror and accepted my condition.

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 12, 2013   #2
I never looked straight in the mirror since ninth grade. Any kind of mirror used to be my enemy: car windows, puddles, and even the back of my metal iPod. My bed and bathroom's mirror was covered with magazine articles at a certain height to avoid seeing my reflection. This was caused by a severe skin condition that majority of teens fret over- acnes, cyst acnes to be precise.

This is awesome writing .... I like your style of writing :)

My mother tried everything she could to be normal like my two sisters

My mother tried everything within her power to make me look normal like my two sisters.

as well as birth controls.

.... what does this mean? I am confused :(

We went through more than a dozen dermatologists in town, only endingand ended up with disappointment.

At first, I rejected it as I tend to avoid eye contact and speak in low volume;

.... this second part is not clear to me ... better improve its presentation.
I enjoyed reading your response and feel very happy for you! You are a hero and can go a long way forward! Wish you good luck mate!
OP Angie_Felicia 2 / 3  
Dec 12, 2013   #3
Hi Pahan, thank you so much for the compliment and revision. :D The response came quicker than I though it would. Oh, birth control pills were prescribed by a dermatologist to suppress my hormone level. I should improve its presentation too as it's not a common knowledge.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 12, 2013   #4
Oh, birth control pills were prescribed by a dermatologist to suppress my hormone level. I should improve its presentation too as it's not a common knowledge.

yes.... ordinary guys like us don't have any idea about that.... you should either specify what it is (just say hormons) or just leave it out coz you've given a list of things.

Hi Pahan, thank you so much for the compliment and revision. :D The response came quicker than I though it would.

Yea, I generally don't read responses in full, but this was something very interesting and really captured my attention. I hope those scholarship guys too would find it in the same light :D
mchrome 1 / 4  
Dec 12, 2013   #5
Since then, I took off the magazine articles on my mirror and accepted my condition.

Perharps you can elaborate more on how accepting your condition has changed your life for the better. It makes the 'influence' part in the question more complete, in my opinion. (I know the word limit sucks)

Anyway, I like the overall flow of your essay, it is creative and inspiring. All the best fellow NTU mate!


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