MSC Sustainable energy system. University of Edinburgh. Mastercard foundation - Future goals

As the global demand for clean and sustainable energy solutions intensifies, I am driven by a strong personal and professional desire to contribute meaningfully to sustainable and clean energy transition. As one who has worked in the power generation sector for the past few years and aspiring to pursue a MSc in Sustainable energy systems, I have witnessed both the opportunities and challenges associated with energy generation and distribution in Ghana, experiences that have sparked my deep interest in energy and sustainable management.

I completed my bachelor's degree in industrial engineering with a second-class upper division from Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology, Ghana in 2023. I had the opportunity to intern in Aksa Energy Ghana-Tema as a mechanical graduate trainee and currently work at the Aksa Energy Ghana branch in Kumasi as a project report engineer. With my experience in energy systems construction, installation, maintenance, operations, and performance analysis. I developed a practical understanding of how energy systems function and how efficiency and reliability are managed in large scale operations. However, to give relevant and efficient support to the evolving energy development in Ghana. I find the need to further my studies in sustainable energy systems, building further expertise in renewable energy integration, energy policy, lifecycle assessments, and resource optimization. I believe will bridge my technical expertise with sustainable management strategies that will be essential for designing energy systems that are both efficient and environmentally responsible.

The sustainable energy systems program in the university of Edinburgh perfectly aligns with my goals as the program does not only constitute multidisciplinary topics relating to energy systems. It also reflects on the United Nations' Sustainable Development Goals aimed for Affordable and clean energy. Growing up I have always wanted to use my knowledge in engineering to promote sustainability in the energy sector. After my master's program, I aim to use the opportunity to work with multidisciplinary groups to promote to the development of sustainable energy solutions across Africa. I strongly believe that the MSc Sustainable Energy systems program at the University of Edinburgh is the best fit for me to fulfil my future goals.

In conclusion, I am dedicated to making meaningful contributions to the renewable energy transition and I am confident that a master's degree in sustainable energy systems will equip me with the skills to achieve my goals.
Thank you for considering my application.

The first paragraph is actually a bit interesting to read. Then you lost the focus of the Future Goals in the 2nd paragraph. That reference is totally unnecessary. Proceeding with the read, I learned that there is no real future goal for you in the field of sustainable energy. You have a generic idea of what you want to do, but you do not have any clear plan of how to achieve this. The information you provided is only an idea, there is a lack of execution in terms of how to achieve the idea. You need a to present a solid career path that begins upon your graduatio, a career development spanning 5 years, and finally, the achievement of your pre-determined goal.