I want to serve all Colombians outside the country; Future prof goals/Scolarship

Hello, I am wandering if someone could help me to correct my Future Professional goals essay

I made my Professional Internship in a dependency of The Minister of Foreign Affair of Colombia in the Consular General office in San Francisco, California, U.S.A., that got me be interested into the consular and diplomatic matter, and make me to want work in the Government toward help to improve relation and cooperation agreements between Colombia and others countries, get better the image that the rest of the world has about Colombia through teaching about our culture, diversity and way of life. Also, I want to serve all Colombians outside the country by helping them to do government document procedures, organize integration events and activities for the Colombian community abroad, and provide assistance help to compatriots. That is why I want to make a M.A. in International Relation and Affair to have the correct bases and study to become a high qualified diplomatic to represent my country and my ethnicity and my roots.

i'm sorry. i'm a science student.

Hi
It's always good to post your prompt so that others get the purpose of your writing and also they can check whether your writing is aligned with the prompt.Please post the prompt from the next time.

... This sentence is way too long and it disturbs your flow too :( Shorten your sentences and re-post it
Also what do you mean by "dependency of the Minister of Foreign Affair of Colombia.

Thanks for your suggestions :) , by the way I am not a English native speaker, this essay is for a scolarship and i have to say what i want to do when i finish my study: work with the goverment, private company, or start my own business

I had my professional internship at the Consular General office of Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Colombia in San Francisco, California. .... you better stop the sentence at this point and begin the next one.


This exposure nurtured my passion for consular and diplomatic matters. This was the advent of my strong desire for working for the Colombian government to help improve its international relationships with the rest of the world.

Thank you, yes the first sentence was a little long