Dear All colleagues
I do hope that any input, critiques for my essay and many thousand thank for your invaluable inputs
Taking a master degree in social work with a specialization on children and families is of great interested to me. I have developed my practical skills and broadened my understanding of disadvantaged child and family's related issues that occur at a grassroots level, by working with various non governmental organizations in Indonesia. I have assisted children and families through facilitating and evaluating psychosocial humanitarian intervention both, in emergency settings such as Tsunami Relief Program in Aceh, and in a development context e.g. an integrated nutrition program in NTT and my current project on helping victims of human trafficking and people smuggling in West Kalimantan.
Therefore, gaining deeper competence in social work that focuses specifically on children and families allows me to develop and exercise my analytical, theoretical and research skills on this subject and look at it from an intersectional standpoint e.g. family, social, cultural, educational and health context, which in turn will substantially help me in developing a project/intervention to address children and families issues more pertinently and comprehensively to local context.
I have found that addressing disadvantaged children and families issues through social work practice is rarely applied in Indonesia especially in isolated and neglected areas. Local government agencies tend to tackle a social issue partially rather than comprehensively. For an example, a social worker is scarcely involved in handling under-nutrition and mortality issues. WHO & UNICEF have found that these problems are very complex not only related to food and health but are related also to cultural beliefs, economic and political. Thus, in this basis, social work approach is fundamentally needed to empower the community and to advocate decision makers.
By contrast, social work practice has long been rooted in the history of US since the first social work class offered in 1898 at Colombia University (website of National Association of Social Worker) and it has been widely applied by both the US government institutions and its civil societies in handling a social issue including that one related to children and families. Hence, pursuing the master degree in social work especially related to children and families in the US provides a wonderful opportunity for me to learn directly from social work professors and practitioners who have developed strong practical theories in social work and are internationally recognized for their competences. In addition, taking the master degree in the US will also enable both Citizens to exchange social and cultural values in order to create mutual understanding between the two countries which in turn will strengthen the diplomatic ties between Indonesia and the US.
Having extensive experiences over six years with children and families, I am committed to continuing to assist them by joining with potential Indonesian government agencies or NGO. My goal is to contribute to helping disadvantaged children and families by promoting good care practice and empowering women, as well as provide educational service to potential government bodies. I strongly believe that my proposed study will benefit Indonesian government; related stakeholders and communities, especially in isolated and neglected locations, as in these areas, the availability of child and family specialists able to address their issues more pertinently and comprehensively is inadequate.
Dear Moderator Susan.
again, thank for your critique.
concerning the first paragraph, I have tried to split them into 2 shorter sentences, but I really have no idea how to do that, do you mind giving me some insight how to begin with?
in term with the last paragraph, what would you say if conclude like this : "Having extensive experiences over six years with children and families, I am committed to continuing to assist them by joining with potential Indonesian government agencies or NGO. My goal is to contribute to helping disadvantaged children and families by promoting good care practice and empowering women, as well as provide social service to potential government bodies. I strongly believe that my proposed study will benefit Indonesian government; related stakeholders and community especially in isolated and neglected locations as in these areas child and family specialist being able to address their issues more pertinently and comprehensively is inadequate".
Thank
Apid
How about like this:
I have developed my practical skills and broadened my understanding of disadvantaged child and family's related issues that occur at a grassroots level, by working with various non governmental organizations over six years in Indonesia.
I've assisted children and families through facilitating and evaluating psychosocial humanitarian intervention both, in emergency settings such as Tsunami Relief Program in Aceh, and in a development context e.g. an integrated nutrition program in NTT and my current project on helping victims of human trafficking and people smuggling in West Kalimantan.
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I strongly believe that my proposed study will benefit Indonesian government; related stakeholders and communities, especially in isolated and neglected locations, as in these areas,the availability of child and family specialistsbeing able to address their issues more pertinently and comprehensively is inadequate".
:)
