A strong connections network is essential to ensure the advancement of my career.

Can you review my essay and comment on it...Thanks in advance

Chevening Networking Question

As a professional construction engineer,I don't have a permanent workplace. I move from site to site depending on work needs. That leads me to work with numerous professionals from different backgrounds. Being able to communicate,create a well-established network and maintain a strong connections with them is essential to ensure the advancement of my career.

Since I was an undergraduate, I tried to establish a steady connection with colleges through co-working projects and professionals and technicians through summer trainings and field trips.

After graduation,I became a site engineer who is responsible for workmanship, money involved in the project and workflow rate according to project timetable. I knew that maintaining my connections and expanding my network through daily interaction with professionals will pay off one day. After being moved to another site,We faced a problem. We needed to quickly start an activity that failing to complete it on time would lead to a deduction in our contract payment. I knew a sub-contractor who was able to start working immediately. Also, I was able to negotiate to get the best price. The job was done and delivered on time. Since then, my company maintained a strong connection with this sub-contractor and used his services in other projects.

After completing my military service, I was intending to take my career to higher level and explore new challenges. I had that college whom our connection started in high school and maintained through college. He is working in an international company which is constructing mega structures inside and outside Egypt. He was able to recommend me to his manager at that time. His manager became my current manager as I was interviewed and accepted to join the company. My current position is a quality control engineer. I took my network to a new level as I'm working with professionals from different countries who represent different local and international contractors. I'm the connection between the different departments and official governmental engineers of National Authority of Tunnels NAT. Also, I'm the internal connection between different departments. So, I was able to create a steady connection with supportive professionals in different engineering fields that can aid and offer help when needed.

Becoming a Chevening scholar will give me the chance to extend my professional network by connecting with other scholars, link it to my current network in which I can help young professionals who seek to join Chevening scholars, effectively communicate with Chevening Alumni and engage with them to create a strong network and interesting materials to influence and direct professionals through their career. Creating such a massive network will support my endeavor to always boost my career.

Sleem, your essay has good and relevant content but suffers from a bad presentation. It might help if you consider hiring a professional service to edit your essay in order to make it more efficient in presenting your networking skills. Right now, due to the inconsistent grammar, the essay is difficult to follow and understand.

I can see the potential for networking in your essay, the problem is that the poor presentation is hindering the clarity of your message. For instance, you speak of a time after your graduation when you became a site engineer. We need the background of the problem in order to understand the importance of your networking skill. Explain what the project was like when you arrived, why it was delayed, how you came into contact with this sub-contractor, and the reason why he chose to accept your job offer. Remember, you are writing a networking essay so you need to show how that network is developed and used on both ends (if it applies) in your presentation.

You don't have to bring up your military service if it is not directly connected with a networking reference. In this essay, I am unclear if you are referring to a network you created through a friendship with a fellow military member or what. How does that story connect with your friend? It is important that you don't muddle your presentation with useless facts just because you think it is important, even though it is unrelated.

Try to review the essay again. Figure out what you really want to present and the clearest way to present it. Remove all extra information that does not help to advance your presentation. Try to just present this in the clearest manner that you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel you need it.