Can you please help me proofread my personal statement:
Throughout my high school days, I have found the subjects of Environmental Science, Calculus and Physics particularly fascinating. Therefore, I am considering Geophysics as a discipline to study. There is a great amount of awareness directed towards alternative sources of energy and natural gases, which requires qualified professionals to sustain energy for the future generations.
With Geophysics, I will be able to use a variety of instruments that rely on the principles of geology and physics to locate archeological features without having to disturb the earth. This job demands innovative thinkers to come up with cost-effective methods of searching large areas of ground, in the shortest time possible. Benefits of geophysicists include working outdoors for acquisition of seismic data, using the latest technological equipment. Geophysics is a very tangible job that makes you feel that you are part of something greater than yourself.
I have a strong desire to practice the profession of Geophysics. And be able to compete with the industry's best and equip myself with the necessary skills to add value to my country, Bahrain. Bahrain's economy is highly dependent on oil production, which accounts for more than 60% of Bahrain's exports and 70% of the government's revenue. Therefore, I would like to contribute to my country by studying Geophysics and add to Bahrain's oil exploration workforce.
Table tennis keeps me healthy and active, which is essential for Geophysics fieldwork. In fact, I am the school's table tennis champion; I have also organized a table tennis championship for my school. I have started playing chess since a young age, and find enormously fascinating and cultivating of ones brain. I have also won the school's chess championship for two consecutive years.
I am confident that one day I will look back and be grateful that I had an excellent education that helped me reach my goals and live without regret.
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------
Can you help me find a more suitable "first sentence" as I find mine boring and more of a cliche.
Throughout my high school days, I have found the subjects of Environmental Science, Calculus and Physics particularly fascinating. Therefore, I am considering Geophysics as a discipline to study. There is a great amount of awareness directed towards alternative sources of energy and natural gases, which requires qualified professionals to sustain energy for the future generations.
With Geophysics, I will be able to use a variety of instruments that rely on the principles of geology and physics to locate archeological features without having to disturb the earth. This job demands innovative thinkers to come up with cost-effective methods of searching large areas of ground, in the shortest time possible. Benefits of geophysicists include working outdoors for acquisition of seismic data, using the latest technological equipment. Geophysics is a very tangible job that makes you feel that you are part of something greater than yourself.
I have a strong desire to practice the profession of Geophysics. And be able to compete with the industry's best and equip myself with the necessary skills to add value to my country, Bahrain. Bahrain's economy is highly dependent on oil production, which accounts for more than 60% of Bahrain's exports and 70% of the government's revenue. Therefore, I would like to contribute to my country by studying Geophysics and add to Bahrain's oil exploration workforce.
Table tennis keeps me healthy and active, which is essential for Geophysics fieldwork. In fact, I am the school's table tennis champion; I have also organized a table tennis championship for my school. I have started playing chess since a young age, and find enormously fascinating and cultivating of ones brain. I have also won the school's chess championship for two consecutive years.
I am confident that one day I will look back and be grateful that I had an excellent education that helped me reach my goals and live without regret.
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------
Can you help me find a more suitable "first sentence" as I find mine boring and more of a cliche.
