Supporting statement 1 about course choice for NZAID Scholarship application

Hello

I wish to share my Draft. Your suggestions and feedback will be appreciated.

Why have you choose your prefered course?

I wish to pursue postgraduate diploma in health science in medical Imaging(ultrasound Pathway) because of my enthusiasm in ultrasound imaging, its wide range clinical application, and further obtain specialised skills and knowledge. Ultrasound imaging equipment has seen being increasingly evolve with additional applications that highly recommended specialised medical imaging technologist to maintain and apply their knowledge and skills in the clinical setting.

In country xxx, particularly in the province there are limited medical diagnostic tools available, which implies ultrasound imaging a first line tool often relied on to detect, evaluate, diagnose and manage patients. Therefore, Ultrasound imaging is very popular and effective with its application and clinical competence in the treatment of patient.

Ultrasound imaging has high sensitive and specificity in detecting different types of pathology. Ranging from pediatrics to human body systems, organs and trauma. In contrast , ultrasound uses Doppler principles , electronic array technology and three dimensional 4D scanning that requires an advance skills and techniques to manipulate the equipment. So with its ability to aid in diagnosis, ultrasound imaging is very important to consider when evaluating patient in clinical setting.

Medical imaging profession centers on patients and integrated with other healthcare professionals. Achieving good interpersonal relationship and uphold professionalism is vital in developing our healthcare system.

Whilst working as a medical imaging technologist, I have lacked fundamental scientific theoretical knowledge and skill in ultrasound imaging and clear clinical judgement to assist in diagnosis of patients. These has resulted in misdiagnosis and which has placed unnecessary cost to our budget for further referrals.

To sum up, this course will enable me to attain specialised knowledge and new skills to be effective as a medical imaging technician,as well as, to perform high standard of professionalism in medical imaging profession.

I hope these statement answers the question clearly.

You are applying to for postgraduate education when you've already working, which means there is a gap in your knowledge that can't be filled within your current environment and thus you want to learn more in formal institution. Based on your writing, you haven't clearly explained your motivation to pursue this program, what do you expect to learn in the program, skills/knowledge you have about the related research field, or why you have to take your major in this particular institution. Instead, you are wasting the available space by writing about general facts that are not related to you at all and definitely not useful to reviewers.

I'd suggest rewriting your statement around this idea. You can reuse the bits about your experience but try to be reflective and be careful with your wording. "These has resulted in misdiagnosis..." is a very strong sentence. You might explain instead how you were able to overcome this issue despite your shortcomings. Don't forget that your job is to convince the selection committee that you are a capable and remarkable candidate.

The prompt is asking the reason why you choose your preferred course. Don't talk about why this field is important, but why it's important to you to take this course. Talk about your initial motivation and then connect it to your future career aspirations and contributions (i.e. why this course will help you in the future).

Your essay actually carries certain responses to the actual question. The problem is that you have not properly directed the essay towards a solid response. I believe that you have given this essay to us as a draft, asking about what you can and cannot use in the essay. What I can tell you is this, you have a usable essay to a certain extent. You clearly answer the question; " Why have you chosen this course?" In the following manner:

In country xxx, particularly ...reatment of patient. Whilst working as a ... for further referrals. I wish to pursue ...in ultrasound imaging.

That combination of paragraphs will explain why you were motivated to pursue higher studies. The last sentence about the "wish to pursue" will need to be expanded upon to further illustrate your course choice. Under the "wish to" discussion, present information as to how the course subjects will help you address your specific weaknesses as a technician. There is no need for forward thinking at this point because you are choosing the course based upon your need for additional training in your current position. Avoid writing a lecture based on research as you did in this essay. Instead, focus on your desire to do your job well to help address certain shortcomings in diagnosis, budget concerns, and patient interaction.

Yes, you will need to write a new essay response, but you should be able to explain yourself fully within 2 paragraphs if you use the information above as the basis of your new explanation.