Transitioning to a great leader needs one to be a catalyst for change. Chevening Leadership essay.

Kindly review my scholarship Essay for Chevening Leadership & Influencing Question.

Transitioning to a great leader not only requires determination and passion, but needs one to be a catalyst for change. Whether one has the ability to spark the fight for independence or has the foresight to create a new product, being able to ignite change in others and motivate them for a cause is the most important trait of a great leader. Living in a country that desperately needs major overhauling, I aspire to be a catalyst for it.

My innate ability to lead people has always been my driving force to derive the best out of everything. During my university years I have always been eager to lead a group in major semester and final year projects. While I was completing my BBA from Bahria University, we were assigned a task that involved product development, marketing and sales. After being tested and judged by University professors and esteemed representatives from the MNCs in Pakistan, we were adjudged clear winners.

In this current age, the Telecom & IT sector have a significant role for a country's economic, financial & technological advancement. My work experience in this sector has thought me how to become the change agent I have always wanted to be. Whether it involved playing a major role in the breakthrough "NADRA Safe City Project" in Islamabad or the first Telecom merger in the country between "Warid and Mobilink", I have had the chance to revolutionize the Telecom Industry in Pakistan.

Pakistan has always lagged behind in the Telecom & IT sector, because it lacks proper vision, quality and effective leadership. I aim to change this trend and play an influencing role in the industry and pave the way for others by demonstrating great leadership abilities. By being granted the prestigious Chevening Scholarship, I believe I will be exposed to new ideas which can broaden my horizon and enable me to be a main catalyst for change in my country.

but also need one
during my time in university
BBA : do not use abbreviation although you may think it is apparent
country's economic situation
financial ,and technological
some paragraphs are not elaborate sufficiently and the conclusion part is dismissed

Hi
I think you should talk about a leadership position you had before and give examples about your achievements in this position.