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'Accepted Student weekend' - Why Stanford a good place for you?



viettran92 4 / 8  
Dec 18, 2009   #1
Here is my rough draft, please tell me what you think.

Stanford Prompt 3

Upon a recent visit to San Francisco, I met a graduate from Stanford who is opening his own invest company. And during our conversation, he only brought up two things about Stanford, first is how annoyed he felt about his roommate every time the Big Game comes near, and second is how upset he is because most of his classmates have already been employed or opened their own business. To me, those two things are enough to set Stanford apart from other leading institutions of the world. Stanford is where people show an unconquerable love for their school and also where they try to ignite and embrace usefulness and flexibility in each of their students. Here, at Stanford, I can find values and traits that I worship, flexibility and diversity, echo the vitality and vibrantly intellect life of this place, I can find myself mesmerized by studies about macroeconomics and Chinese economic system done by professors such as John G. Gurley and Manuel Amador. Stanford's surroundings, its campus and lifestyle, all of these diverse pieces fit harmonically and coalesce together to make a unified whole. And it is only at Stanford where during the Accepted Student weekend, they don't talk about how luck you are to be at Stanford, but how lucky Stanford is to have you there. People like and only fit into where they are treasured and valued properly, and Stanford is place like that.

cdrappi 3 / 6  
Dec 18, 2009   #2
This is solid. You clearly demonstrated a unique reason you are interested in the university, as it seems that it's more than just the prestige to you.

A few edits.

"they don't talk about how lucky you are to be at Stanford,"

AndDuring our conversation, he brought up only two things about Stanford: how annoyed he felt about his roommate every time the Big Game comes near, and how upset he is because most of his classmates have already been employed or opened their own business."
OP viettran92 4 / 8  
Dec 19, 2009   #3
Thank you very much.
citadel01 2 / 5  
Dec 19, 2009   #4
I read somewhere that it's generally not a good idea to name-drop in your essays unless it's absolutely necessary, so I would remove those mentions to those professors since they don't really add to your essay.

I met a graduate from Stanford who is opening his own invest investment company

People like and only fit into where they are treasured and valued properly, and Stanford is place like that.

That sentence sounds awkward, so I would suggest changing it.


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