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Additional Essay for Harvard, Topic Love. Too weird??



Foreigner 3 / 10  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Love

I fell in love at first sight. Your entry way, a lot smaller than I had imagined, still more beautiful than a woman's body. Your famous "Harvard Hall", significant and old, incomparable to other places of teaching, and yet new and full of unconsumed knowledge.

Fascinated, I caress over the even surface of your ebony tables, our intimacy is tantamount to an old married couple. The seven letters on your banner, truth is their meaning and truly seductive they adulate every applicant.

The way into the stadium, excitement, tension. The players enter the field, the crowd cheers, but it is your look which causes butterflies in my stomach. I only have eyes for you, your gaze captivates mine and like two stars lost in the night sky, we drown in the crowd.

I imagine the two of us sharing unique experiences as I study for the annual International Relations' final or evaluate the influence of the renaissance on today's society. I know you will always outshine me, however, being together with you is more than I have dared to dream of.

I discuss a new political-related research project with my professor Roberto Unger. I can hardly concentrate on the topic. My eyes are fascinated from your new side wing I just discovered. One day, I imagine, I will introduce you to my parents. I am sure, they will be in awe. But these are dreams of the future, hopes of a romantic teenager.

I look upon myself. I appear as an appendage, unfitting to your exceptionality and perfection. I feel like one among many, nothing special. I hate these thoughts buzzing in my head. A nobody. Will you reject me? But why should you? I am unique! Well, many others with the same belief came before me and were refused. I know you are a heartbreaker, thousands fail to meet your criteria every year and the fear of disappointment is huge. On the other hand, why should you not grant me access? Maybe I am the lucky one, the missing part of your puzzle. I am hoping for a happy ending, but you have to meet me halfway. Accept me and I will give you all I have to give.

reesesx3ramen 1 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
Haha, it's cute, to be sure. The only thing is the adcoms might not take too kindly you blatantly stating "I am special, oustanding, unique!" and telling them to "Take your pen and write 'You are accepted' in the first line".

If you actually submit this, I would talk more about why you love the school (much like those why princeton? or why stanford? questions they have on the supplements) rather than why they should accept you at the end. It's risky to expect an adcom to read this and not just see another teenager who wants the harvard name :( Other than that, this is a pretty unique approach!
reesesx3ramen 1 / 5  
Dec 31, 2009   #3
Yeah, I think the ending is much better. I like the idea of "meet me halfway." lol

"Your entry way, a lot smaller than I had imagined, IS still more beautiful than a woman's body". I think you're missing the verb there, because otherwise it will be a fragment (unless you meant it to be that way).

I hope this love letter goes well for you :)
sixfoottall 3 / 16  
Dec 31, 2009   #4
i think its even better if you make it in a format of a love letter, in that way it wont seem that awkward from the start - it sets the reader into a right emotion before reading it. :)

and give it a title such as *an unusual love letter* or something. make it creative. I think you'll nail it that way.

All the best for your apps! I hope we both can make it to harvard. hehe.


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