I reached to this point despite many obstacles
Since I am the youngest of three children in my family, I have gotten a lot of perks. However, when I became a young adult, I saw that the cons outweigh the pros. In elementary school, I woke up at 8:00 AM everyday to go to school with my mom yelling out my name," Mubdi, get up!! Today is school." She used to help me brush my teeth properly even though I was sure I knew how to do it myself, but she always yelled, "No you are doing it wrong. The germs are still there!" She made breakfast for me by pouring in the milk before the cereal- I know it's odd- and even forces me to eat with her hand feeding it to me even though I could eat myself. I would tell my mom," I can do this myself. Why are you always doing this for me. I am getting a little too old now." She always avoided answering these questions and helped me wear my clothes and get prepared for school.
The thing that irritated me the most is when either my mother or my father tied my shoelaces and selected my clothes for school. By the time I entered middle school, I was getting sick of all the attention. So one night while my parents were sleeping, I woke up at 1 AM and used the internet as a resource to see how to tie shoelaces in a YouTube video. After a few times watching it and trying it out myself, I got it around the fourth or fifth time how to do the "loop the loop." I was so proud of myself initially because I was able to figure it out myself with my own logical thinking. But I was still upset with my parents had spoiled me and didn't encourage me to do things on my own. Thus before 9th grade started, I confronted them about this issue for the first time and wasn't going to let them get away. I told them, "Why do you do everything for me when I know I have the potential to do these things and a lot more, you could have just taught me how to tie my shoelaces instead". My parents tried to change the subject by saying I was going to be late to school which is in Manhattan. But I told them straight up that you have to answer this question or I will be mad with you for the rest of my life. They did finally open up to me about why they treat me like their precious baby. They wanted me to stay with them forever because my other siblings were in college and had jobs and one of them was married. They didn't want to lose me. I was very thankful for their love at that point, but I showed them that I had learned how to tie shoes and wear my clothes properly from the internet. I understand my parents would feel pain in letting me go, but I told them, "People learn from life experiences and although you showed a lot of love for me, you accidentally taken away the life skills that I needed to learn at home to be successful in life. But I've showed you know that I am capable of doing things on my own and I am not "slow" like you thought I was when I was younger because I had bad handwriting and thus you put me into occupational therapy. So I just ask for a little freedom."
My parents hesitated at first, but they did let me go gradually and let me make my own decisions in high school. I thank them for that because they have allowed me to do so much in high school that I had not ever done before in my life. I became proud of myself when I saw that my hard work helped me achieve a 94 average and reach the top 10 percent of my school which has more than 400 kids in my senior class. But I also thank my parents because that was a very hard thing to do for them as well, letting their youngest child go and hopefully one day become the chemical engineer he inspires to be and get the income to help him, his family, and the whole world.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 Mubdi, you are opting to discuss such an elementary situation in your essay that doesn't really reflect the proper prompt requirements. There is no real failure in this essay to speak of because all you did, was tell the reviewer that your parents did not trust you to take care of your needs as a child. That is where the mistake lies. This essay prompt can never be about a childhood experience. This has to be an experience that you had as a teenager. So we are talking around the age of 13 and above. That is because at this age, you are already capable of feeling failure, analyzing your failure, and recovering from it. Anything younger than that age is not applicable because you do not have any actual responsibilities at that point yet.
Some of the failures that you can discuss here would be losing a competition, having an embarrassing moment that caused you to fail, being unable to perform during a test, failing to do something that your parents hoped you would have been able to do for yourself (such as failing to get a driver's license, holding a party when you were left at home alone for a few days, etc.), or anything that caused you to lose at doing something.
This is a character development story essay. So think of a time when you became a better person because you failed at something that you tried very hard to accomplish. This is the kind of story that will show character development due to failure. That is the purpose of the essay and what the reviewer wishes to read. So you will need to find a more relevant story to tell. Remember, this has to be at the age of 13 and up. Nothing below that age.
Once you revise the essay and post it here for review, please include the word count requirement so that we can help you edit the content to meet it. You forgot to tell us what it was with this version. There is no need to make this version meet the word requirement because it doesn't appropriately respond to the prompt. We will deal with the word count once you have a more relevant essay to present in response to the instructions provided.
You start with,"Since I am the youngest of three children in my family, I have gotten a lot of perks. However, when I became a young adult, I saw that the cons outweigh the pros."
If the essay is focusing on failure and how you overcame that, writing about the perks would give the reader a better understanding on how you overcame hardships you're not accustomed to.
Also, I agree with everything written above ^
Growing up was pretty sweet up until I entered High school. Being the youngest of three siblings, I have always had the privilege of getting all the help I needed, if not more. In fact, I hardly perceived the effects of my physical limitations that were due to my motor-skills delay; I received occupational therapy in school until junior high however. My family, especially my sister, was my extended, ...
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 Mubdi, if you have a physical disability or special needs that has a medical name, then identify it in the essay. That way your words do not come across as the words of a complaining spoiled boy. When yo claim that you are held back by your motor skills delay, explain the cause of the delay. You have to explain if you have a medical condition that caused it because that is a major consideration for the reviewer when considering your application. If you will not be able to function in the same manner a normal college student, the university will have to make accommodations for that. So it would be best if you explain that at the very beginning.
You also need to better show the reviewer how you overcame your obstacles. As of this writing, you have only told the reviewer, in a rushed overview, about how you were frustrated by the shortcomings caused by your motor delay. While the success that you present is notable, there is no backstory as to how you slowly accomplished this. If you are to make this essay more informative, the reviewer will need more information about your condition to consider as part of your application.
