Hi everyone,
I am from Afghanistan and I want to continue my education in a college in United States. I have already chosen the college that I will apply.
Here is my essay, I would be very glad if you could help me with the essay I have written.
Please feel free to suggest new ideas or point out the mistakes I have made.
Thank you
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A) Your reasons for wanting to study in the United States
The use of cutting-edge technology and top learning facilities, excellent teaching, coupled with personalized study programs and individual attention make the United States' education system an outstanding education system!
Global rankings have repeatedly show the dominance of United States' education system.
Graduating from an American university means a lot to Afghans, it will have a huge impact on my future ambitions and goals.
B) Your future academic and career goals
It is after a good deal of self-evaluation that I have decided to pursue graduate studies in Information Technology and Network Administration. This decision followed naturally after carefully considering my past experiences in this field, the areas of my interest and my ultimate professional ambition, which is to start an internet service provider company in Afghanistan.
The internet business is one of the most promising ones in Afghanistan. I have already done a lot of researching and I had the chance to be trained in some areas in Herat's IT incubator by IBM consultants. I feel that proper education in United States will give my professional ambitions a huge boost!
C) How you became interested in XXXXXX College.
Via E-mail I contacted several colleges but I always received great help from XXXXXX which made me curious to find out more about the college. After lots of researching on the internet I found out about high-quality and comprehensive educational programs, helpful and friendly professors and awesome facilities available to students.
Reading reviews by students who attend or have attended XXXXXX College and their positive feedbacks really made it easier for me to become interested in XXXXXX College.
Another point in being interested in XXXXXX was that I have family living not that far from the college which is very important for me as adapting to living in United States will be a lot easier.
I am from Afghanistan and I want to continue my education in a college in United States. I have already chosen the college that I will apply.
Here is my essay, I would be very glad if you could help me with the essay I have written.
Please feel free to suggest new ideas or point out the mistakes I have made.
Thank you
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- -------------------------------------
A) Your reasons for wanting to study in the United States
The use of cutting-edge technology and top learning facilities, excellent teaching, coupled with personalized study programs and individual attention make the United States' education system an outstanding education system!
Global rankings have repeatedly show the dominance of United States' education system.
Graduating from an American university means a lot to Afghans, it will have a huge impact on my future ambitions and goals.
B) Your future academic and career goals
It is after a good deal of self-evaluation that I have decided to pursue graduate studies in Information Technology and Network Administration. This decision followed naturally after carefully considering my past experiences in this field, the areas of my interest and my ultimate professional ambition, which is to start an internet service provider company in Afghanistan.
The internet business is one of the most promising ones in Afghanistan. I have already done a lot of researching and I had the chance to be trained in some areas in Herat's IT incubator by IBM consultants. I feel that proper education in United States will give my professional ambitions a huge boost!
C) How you became interested in XXXXXX College.
Via E-mail I contacted several colleges but I always received great help from XXXXXX which made me curious to find out more about the college. After lots of researching on the internet I found out about high-quality and comprehensive educational programs, helpful and friendly professors and awesome facilities available to students.
Reading reviews by students who attend or have attended XXXXXX College and their positive feedbacks really made it easier for me to become interested in XXXXXX College.
Another point in being interested in XXXXXX was that I have family living not that far from the college which is very important for me as adapting to living in United States will be a lot easier.