Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. what about this quality or accomplishment hakes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
The alphabet I know consists of only seven letters. The only colors I know are black and white. I grew up with people named Muzio Clementi, Frederic Chopin, and Johann Sebastian Bach. To a typical person this might seem strange, but to a musically educated individual it makes perfect sense. This is because I produce music from a half-ton construction of wood and steel strings commonly referred to as a piano.
At the age of six I began running my fingers over the black and white keys. Piano playing has not always been a passion of mine. During my third year of musical studies I developed a strong dislike for the daunting instrument. My simple joy for Mary Had a Little Lamb morphed into disgust for the chaos of noise entitled Fur Elise. My eyes could not believe the number of musical notes that fit onto so few pages.
Despite this obstacle, my piano instructor urged me to press on. Day in and day out I practiced, note by note, page by page. Slowly but surely I began to hear the flowing melody come out of the piano; it wasn't perfect, but it was there. The more I improved my playing, the more I came to love music. Not only did that experience allow me to play one of the most popular pieces in music history, it also allowed me to discover the rewards of perseverance. Despite the numbing pain in my fingers or the tireless nights I spent working on Fur Elise, I never gave up. Seven years have passed since I first learned that song, and I still know Fur Elise by heart, reminding me that burning the midnight oil does pay off.
Fur Elise became more than a song to me. I didn't realize it then, but that experience has gradually shaped the person I am today. I learned that perseverance doesn't know the meaning of failure, that it takes continuous effort to succeed. Piano enabled my fingers to grow from fragile appendages into sturdy tools used to command sound into music. Likewise, my personality was able mature from a naive, unfocused child to a determined, strong-willed young adult. The piano has taught me to finish what I start whether it is a long baseball season or just everyday homework. Before I learned to play Fur Elise, I saw piano playing as a series of conflicts; one struggle after another. Now, my outlook towards the piano is no longer fueled by a need to conquer challenging pieces, but rather a desire to continue expanding my musical repertoire. More importantly, I have learned to work through complications instead of merely wrestling with them.
After the countless pieces and insurmountable number of hours spent on my piano, I am now mentally ready for new "songs" to tackle, one of which I'm hoping will be your school. Much like pieces of music, college courses demand a person's time and dedication to learn their content. I believe that with my steadfast determination I will be able to successfully complete UC courses. From a young age, I have known that I must unyieldingly strive towards a goal to truly accomplish it. With a focus on reaching the last notes of these new pieces, I look forward to the rewarding challenges of the University of California.
Good evening :)
I have edited one section of your piece and then provided some general comments in regards to the remainder of it:
"At the age of six I began running my fingers over the black and white keys. Piano playing has not always been a passion of mine. During my third year of musical studies I developed a strong dislike for the daunting instrument. My simple joy for " Mary Had a Little Lamb" morphed into disgust for the chaos of noise entitled " Fur Elise." My eyes could not believe the number of musical notes that fit onto so few pages."
Other than that, I think you have a wonderful piece. It is grammatically clean and well organized, a fine response to the prompt.
Nice work.
Regards,
Gloria
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