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I have already previewed life at Penn State and absolutely loved it - summer experience



eleankel 1 / 1  
Nov 22, 2008   #1
PENN STATE PERSONAL STATEMENT

"Please choose one of your activities or another experience you would like to share and provide a short description of its importance to you. Include why that commitment could be relevant to your student experience at Penn State."

This summer I attended the Summer Study program at Penn State University. I spent six and a half weeks in this "pre- college" program at the University Park campus. As students in the Summer Study program, we boarded in Shunk Hall with a roommate just as we will in college. I loved living in Shunk Hall and eating in Pollock Commons. The food in the dining hall definitely exceeded my expectations.

As part of the program, I attended "Introductory to Criminology" in the Willard Building. I really enjoyed this class because the the was not a boring lecture, but an engaging discussion led by instructor, Laine Briddell. Also, I had great classmates who all voiced their different and persuasive opinions.

Because of this experience I am sure that Penn State University is the right college for me to attend. I can picture myself studying in the enormous Paterno library, cheering on the Nittany Lions at Beaver Stadium and just hanging out in State College. Also, I will not be very nervous coming to college as a freshman because I have already previewed life at Penn State and absolutely loved it.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 22, 2008   #2
Because you didn't state what type of assistance you were seeking, I have made some general comments in regards to mechanics and grammar:

"This summer I attended the Summer StudyIs this the actual title of the program? If so, "program" should be capitalized also. If not, "Summer Study" shouldn't be capitalized. program at Penn State University. I spent six and a half weeks in this "pre- college" program at the University Park campus. As students in the Summer Study program, we boarded in Shunk Hall with a roommate just as we will in college. I loved living in Shunk Hall and eating in Pollock Commons. The food in the dining hall definitely exceeded my expectations.

This is an appropriate answer to the prompt; you acknowledge all of the facets of their question and answer them completely. Good work.
OP eleankel 1 / 1  
Nov 22, 2008   #3
thank you so much. is there anything that can be done to make it better?
I'm about to send it and im SO nervous
EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Nov 22, 2008   #4
I think once you've done the mechanical/grammatical polishing, it will be a great piece. Take a deep breath and send it off!


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