I am going to discuss the challenges that American Muslims are facing. As a minority in the United States, Muslims face many challenges. First and foremost is ignorance about Islam. This ignorance leads to fear and distrust. The acts of a few Muslim extremists are attributed to all Muslims.
Despite several generations in this country, Muslims have quite a history in the U.S.we are still perceived as foreigners; we are still perceived as people out to destroy the United States, and when we attempt to define ourselves, our ...
I have rewritten the whole thing
The cases that i have written below are either from a reliable source or I myself contacted the victim.
I would appreciate any suggestions!
Muslim students are being bullied and verbally harassed. Muslim girls are being taunted, assaulted at school for wearing Hijab. These cases, that I am going to discuss may not be experienced by a majority of American Muslims, they are nevertheless serious issues that must be addressed.
There is the case of Kristian, a Muslim teen who suffered nine months of physical and emotional abuse, including being kicked in the head and punched in the groin so hard he later saw blood in his urine. His grades suffered, his personality changed and he withdrew from friends and family. Shaffiate, Kristian's father said that teachers saw other students hit Kristian in the head with large books but didn't do anything to change the situation other than telling them to stop and not following through. Kristian has yet to return to school and the family is hoping to transfer him to another school in a safe learning environment.
American Muslim women face many unique additional challenges. For instance, a woman who wears hijab, which is the traditional head-covering, is often taunted at work and on the street, and the careers of a lot of these women are actually jeopardized they are discriminated against at work and they are not given jobs.
A Muslim employee in Disneyland's Grand Californian Hotel has been sent home from work with no pay for refusing to take off her hijab while working as a hostess in one of the hotel's restaurants.
Bullying Muslim students is simply ignorance and should never be tolerated or encouraged. The best that can done is to tell young generation the truth behind negative images of Islam and Muslims, except of relaying on media this should be done by talking to Muslims and hearing their voices.
Dear Sana,
I think this is not the forum, where I can discuss about the merit and demerit of what you have written. But, I would like to draw you attention towards few things-
1) It's better you suffice your writing with few specific instances that you or somebody whom you know has faced. This will strengthen your viewpoint because on one hand you are criticizing media for this kind of publicity gimmicks against Muslims, but whatever you have written here is also based on the same.
2) Your view on the subject is very parochial and chauvinistic. This is very sensitive and controversial issue, so your writing should be backed up with few data and not on subjectivity.
3)Third, question that I would like to ask you- You have written that most of the people are intolerant and biased and they don't know about the Islam, but same question can be asked to you also, are Muslims aware of other religion and they are tolerant towards them. In every religion there are good and bad people. So, don't write general statement and be specific in your writing.
4) I am not anti-American or pro-American, but I would like to ask you do you think this is the problem only faced in America and not anywhere else. America has given many democrats on the world stage. Martin Luther King Jr. in his recent visit to India has told in his interview-
"If you don't understand the viewpoints of others that doesn't mean they are wrong."
So, I will tell that by defending any religion blindlessly, we use to create same mistake what others use to do by not understanding any religion. Nobody is having time to understand the religion and viewpoints of all other people, so only way is to follow your viewpoints and respect the viewpoints of others.
Few other changes that you can make to your essay-
Uses of comma- Muslims are given the rare opportunity to explain Islam, we are told that we as moderate Muslims are the minority, and that most Muslims are actually violent extremists.
Run on- women are actually jeopardized; they are discrim
Run-on and wrong use of comma-early age in schools; the textbooks are biased and have a lot of erroneous information.
The best that can done is tell the young generation The best that can be done is to tell the young generation
If you would like to discuss the content of your essay, then it's better you find me on facebook with name rajeshaaidu(India), and if grammatical mistakes I can help you here.
Thanks!!!
This essay gives strong evidence to show that bullying is happening. It also makes an important point: the actions of a few extremists do not represent the whole religion. How can we make this argument even better? One idea is to suggest methods for improving young people's understanding so that they overcome the ignorance. What is a good way to educate people?
You can write about that in the conclusion if you want to. :-)
