I really want this to be perfect, as Amherst is my dream school. Thank you in advance! I appreciate this so much. I'm actually 95 words over the word count, so help me condense!
Prompt: "Stereotyped beliefs have the power to become self-fulfilling prophesies for behavior." Elizabeth Aries, Professor of Psychology, Amherst College. From her book Men and Women in Interaction, Reconsidering the Difference.
Essay: In all of my experiences, limited as they may be, I have been taught about my race and my gender. To society, both are seemingly disadvantages and hindrances to becoming successful. When people take a cursory look at me the first thing that stands out is "black". A closer look at features reveals "female". A look into my background reveals "poor". I was born into a household in Memphis, Tennessee with an unwed mother and an abusive father with a criminal record. By societal rules I should be victim of "the cycle". The stereotypes associated with my situation teach me that I am destined to be a domestic abuse victim, uneducated, and stuck right above the poverty line. As I have always been one of very few black students in my classes, I have heard comments questioning my validity or right to belong. According to stereotypes I should be an underachiever afraid of what is in the world because I have been wronged. Statistic after statistic has shown that I am not destined for greatness, which begs the question: what separates me from the statistics? Why is it that my motivation to succeed is strong enough to transcend the rut of stereotypes based upon racism and sexism? My own mother took to verbally berating habitually for "not being black enough". She felt that I had rejected my culture and "sold out" because I liked to listen to rock music and because my friends were not strictly black. In order to avoid the pain of the rejection it would have been facile to play the part---to betray myself in order to mold into the label others had set for me. Using Eleanor Roosevelt's famous "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent", stereotypes cannot dictate behavior without the individual resigning him or herself to a destructive fate. From this I have born a perspective that renders me vehemently opposed to allowing myself to become defined by stereotypes. I am determined to pursue my dreams regardless of pressure from any camp to act a different way. I, like former President Bush, am "the decider". If life is composed of self-fulfilling prophecies, mine definitely will not be determined by stereotypes. It will be determined by a will to distance myself from stereotypical stigma and come into my own skin on my own terms.
I think this was a really good essay from personal experience. However, you will have to sacrifice some of those adjectives in order to cut down on the amount of words. Apart from that you will have to decide which sentences aren't as necessary as the others in order to cut down on the words. You could also merge some sentences like the black then female then poor sentences.
