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Anyelo almonte - Bloomfield college self recommendation



anyelo70 1 / 2  
Feb 4, 2013   #1
Anyelo almonte

"Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it." Every time I walk through the hallways I see that quote and I'm pretty sure that I'm one of those who are working hard to be success in the future. I have learned many thing that I feel that I have shape me into a different person when I mean different I mean I think outside the box. Thinking in new results and new possibilities. When I was I child I always had a curious mind, I always felt a need to learn something new. Bloomfield College has all the tools that I need to become a professional. I plan on enrolling into Bloomfield College to major in Management Information Systems, I found that this career is very important in the business society, because now the technology is more actualized and the companies more people to do those jobs. Now I'm taking advantage that I'm high school, researching about those careers and looking for information because I want to make sure I'm going the right way. Another aspect of Bloomfield College that I would like to be involved is your athletic program. I have participated in some team and what I learned from those experiences are unforgettable. My football experience in high school literally changed my life. It made me a better person. Being in the Passaic Football Team I learned responsibility and punctuality. Also I learned one of the key to be successful in life that is always doing the right things and never quit.

I can speak two languages that mean that I'm able to communicate with two different cultures. People who know more than one language, I believe is benefit to Bloomfield College. I'm always looking for challenges to proof myself that I can do anything I want to accomplish. I come from Dominican Republic and when I was there I went to a private school and they said that knowledge is everything in life. That's one thing I will contribute to Bloomfield College Community, the dedication that I will put in my work, because they taught me to put emphasis in what I want. As I got older I realized how important is math and science are a basic foundation for a better future. That's why I think we should always take those subjects seriously. I have something that makes me different from the other people who are applying to this college. It's that I had to pass through a lot of thing to be where I'm now. When I came here I had to learn the language, I had to adjust to the U.S system. The education here is completely different from my country so everything was confusing to me. I'm lucky because I have found bunch of people like my teachers and guidance counselor. They have been helping me a lot since I got here.

Getting into college for me is like a dream, because no one in my family has never attended to college even my brother that is older than me. My parents are hoping that I get accepted in college and if I do I will be the first one in my family go to college.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 5, 2013   #2
This first sentence is just poorly put together. I would go to your english or writing professor and have them guide you through this. I am not trying to be mean but the sentence structure of the entire thing needs a lot of work.

...nice quote

Every time I walk through the hallways I see that quote and I'm pretty sure that I'm one of those who are working hard to be success in the future.

Every time I walk through the hallways this quote echos in my ear and I tell myself to be one that who works hard towards his goal.

I have learned many things that I feelthat I havehave shaped me into a different person when I mean different I mean I think outside the box .

.... you tend to have too many ideas in one sentence without proper link. That may confuse the reader,

I mean different I mean I think outside the box. Thinking in new results and new possibilities.

I am a person who thinks out of the box and who is ready to try out new possibilities
OP anyelo70 1 / 2  
Feb 5, 2013   #3
Thanks a lot


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