Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
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For me, it all started when I was 7 while watching the movie Matilda. The scene I most
remember, one that has been dominant in my memory ever since, is the one in which the highly obese kid is forced to eat a humongous chocolate cake. I vividly remember the child scarfing down this whole cake while I watched on, absolutely horrified! Tears began to roll down my face at the sight of his sheer helplessness. It was during this time, though I had no idea at that moment, that I began to develop a passion for obesity - particularly child obesity.
Obesity is a very serious health concern in America for both adults and adolescents. According to the CDC, prevalence of obesity has, in children 2-5 years old, increased from 5% in 1976 to 12.4% in 2006. Even worse, the prevalence of obesity increased from 4.0% to 17.0% in children 6-11 years old. These are appalling statistics to say the least. Almost one out of every five 6-11 year old kids in America are obese and what's worse is that many of these obese kids remain heavily overweight as they grow into adults. This obesity leaves them more susceptible to other types of illness such as adult diabetes, heart disease, and even (according to research by the European Cancer Organization) cancer in some cases. Obesity should never be overlooked as a serious health concern in America and it is highly important to raise awareness about obesity, not to mention, the health risks that accompany it. The health of my generation and future generations depends on what measures we take towards curbing this growing disease.
It is of utmost importance to me that I do my part in helping bring obesity to an end. The more one knows about obesity, the more power one has over it. I hope to gain as much knowledge that I have about not only obesity but other health concerns and use this gained knowledge to help make America a healthier place.
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suggestions? criticism? grammar mistakes? let me know. :] Thanks in advance. Should it be of greater length?
I would elaborate a bit on your "passion for obesity." How have you pursued it? How does it personally affect you (the essay is about an issue and its significance to you, after all - I could sit and write an essay about quantum mechanics, but I don't really give a flip about it so it wouldn't be very good). Also, I would eliminate that exclamation point in the intro... I don't think it's really necessary. And yeah, I would rephrase the part where you say you want to "end" obesity.
Good luck :)
