In addition to the essay you are asked to write as part of the Common Application, Amherst requires a second essay (250-500 words). We do not offer interviews as part of the application process at Amherst. However, your essays provide you with an opportunity to speak to us. Please keep this in mind when responding to one of the following quotations. It is not necessary to research, read, or refer to the text from which these quotations are taken; we are looking for original, personal responses to these short excerpts. Remember that your essay should be personal in nature and not simply an argumentative essay.
''The world as revealed by science is far more beautiful, and far more interesting, than we had any right to expect. Science is valuable because of the view of the universe that it gives.''
George Greenstein, Professor of Astronomy, Amherst College
Would it be apporpriate to talk about medicine. Why I love it, not the practice but the research and advancement of it, explaining that the reason it beautiful/intresting is because of the way it touches people. Then go into what inspired me to go into medicine.
Hey twizzlestraw,
I think you can definitely talk about medicine but definitely focus on the research and advancement of it. And you could say that medicine is beautiful because its the application of scientific discoveries..
does that help?
Hi Lillian and Twizzlestraw,
I think this has a lot of potential, just as you intend to approach it. The quote refers to beauty, and you sure can find beauty in medical research. For you, I suggest The Body Electric by Becker. Did I already suggest this book to you in the past?
I look forward to seeing this essay!
:-)
This is what I have so far. I'm not ver pleased. And, I still need to add, just don't know how/what yet.. Please tell me what you think!
Tnanks!!!
''The world as revealed by science is far more beautiful, and far more interesting, than we had any right to expect. Science is valuable because of the view of the universe that it gives.''
George Greenstein, Professor of Astronomy, Amherst College
"Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva."
The first time I heard a doctor on Discovery Health Channel announce this term, I spent the next five minutes committing it to memory. I can not say I had a particularly good reason for doing this; the disease was virtually irrelevant to my life. Yet, I repeated this term to myself over and over again, slowly enunciating each syllable in order to learn the proper pronunciation. I did this because medicine captivates me. To me, it is abstract and beautiful.
I developed this sentiment at the age of seven. My aunt, Barbara Alexander, had been diagnosed with lupus. I remember every time she went to the hospital, I would ardently dig out my crayons and glitter and create a masterfully crafted "get well soon" card. However, as the years went on and the hospital visits became more frequent, it became evident to me that she was not going to 'get well soon.' Thus, at the age of seven I realized only one thing could make my aunt better: medicine. I decided that when I grew up I would discover a cure for lupus and the first person I would cure would be my Aunt Barbara.
My young mind began to view medicine not only as a source of knowledge, but as a source of life and thus beauty. Undoubtedly, that is why I fell in love with it. Its beauty resonated from the fact that it was the science of humanity. Medicine retained the ability in itself to save my aunt's life. Although my aunt passed away years ago, my dream has not. My passion is all the more stregnthened the beauty I see.
... I spent the next five minutes committing it to my memory. I can not say I had a particularly good reason for doing thisawkwardly worded "I did not have any significant reason for doing so ; the disease was ...
To me, it is abstractwell, "abstract" is a really (...) word or delete it and beautiful.
... she went to the hospital, I would ardently dig out my crayons / ardently dug out my.. and glitter and masterfully crafted a beautiful "get well soon" card.
... visits became more frequent, it became evident to me/ you ve just used "became" a word before I realized that she ...
Thus, at the age of seven I realized Even at the early age of seven, I knew only one thing could make my aunt better: medicine. I decided that when I grewwould grow up, I would discover (...) cure would be my dear Aunt Barbara.
... but as a source of life and thus beauty. Undoubtedly, that is why I fell in love with it. Its The beauty of medicine resonated s from the fact that it was is the science of humanity. Medicine retained the ability in itself to save my aunt's life.this sentence is not quite clear Although my aunt passed away years ago, my dream has not. My passion is all the more stregnthened the beauty I see. Something is really wrong with this line!
Hope I helped!
Thanks for your comments. Please help me once more:
Read your tweaked version carefully once. There are some silly grammatical and spelling errors.
like I did not "have" a particularly sig...,my (space) memory, resonateds, mreover
Oh Sorry I forgot to mention, your response is fine(can be better). Right now, I m reading your commonapp essay which I am finding really interesting!!
Yeah, I'm really stuck on how to add to it... How is my approach/organization of ideas? Do I just need to add or completely rework?
Actually, since your commonapp essay is really strong, this can serve as a decent backdrop. You don't really need to worry. :)
Also, have you, by chance, read Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coehlo? The whole kissing episode of your essay seemed strikingly similar to an episode of that novel.
Thanks! =)
but really, do you have any further uggestions?? I really want to get into this school.
Oh and no I haven't lol.
Sorry I am not really being clear. Your essay is technically perfect with sound content. The only thing is that its not outstanding like your commonapp essay. Perhaps I have read and written about such things like "medicine cures, science is beautiful" too many times. So, to me, they don't sound much original. Still, your essay complements your personal statement well. So, don't panic!