Getting a Little-Bit Closer - Amherst Supplement Essay

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Getting a Little-Bit Closer

"Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted."
- Attributed to William Hastie, Amherst Class of 1925, first African-American to serve as a judge for the United States Court of Appeals

I have felt desperate many times in my life. Conveniently, most of them have occurred during the difficult four year journey through high school. Whether it was the constant schoolwork, the lethargy that resulted from attending swimming practice five days a week, the immense pressure from my parents to be the best at everything, or even the pressure from my peers to be a part of things that I knew weren't right, I felt trapped in a system where failure seemed like the only outcome. Everyone told me that I was on the right path to success, but was that "success" what I really wanted? Did I really want to be bound to bureaucratic system where I would be unhappy and ultimately fail? Of course not! Personal success means nothing unless it affects others positively in the process. One cannot be happy if he has no one to share it with.

Believe me, this is not the first time I have had this sort of realization. Every time I am in a position of immense stress or desperation I ask myself the same questions. Sometimes I have even considered giving up with my daily routine and yet, I never do. I can only assume that after being pushed past a certain limit most people would give up or at least change their lifestyles. However, I cannot give up. I keep telling myself, "You're almost there Marko. Don't give up! Just one more step and you're there!" I tell myself this not because I desire to achieve the materialistic success that society has deemed acceptable but rather to achieve the happiness that personal success may bring. I certainly cannot imagine the obstacles that William Hastie must have overcome to achieve his goals but I believe I can match his great passion and relentless will. There is nothing more that I desire than to be happy in my life, regardless of the way I got there. If I achieve this goal nothing can stop me from helping others that are in the same position I was in.

I don't know what the purpose of the word "conveniently" is in that sentence.

This raises a lot of questions and creates confusion. This part seems a little contrived, playing that "I resisted peer pressure card: "or even the pressure from my peers to be a part of things that I knew weren't right" ... :-)

You say you felt like failure was inevitable, but you also say people told you you were headed for success -- and that you question the nature of "success" as you understood it. But it seems contradictry to also say you felt like failure was the only possible result.

Lastly, it would be better if the essay expressed this idea, as in the quote, that success is more satisfying if you overcame many obstacles.