I used it for the Questbridge College Match Application and was thinking about using it for Georgetown and Common Application if I shortened it down.
However, is it appropriate? I mention my undocumented status somewhere in there and I read that students should never write about illegal things they did, but what do you guys think? Also, any revision/editing suggestions are welcome!
Georgetown Prompt: As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your
own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.
Common Application Prompts (I haven't yet decided under which one to place it in): Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. OR Topic of your choice.
"What's your motivation?" That was the question posed to me in an essay for a Psychology class two years ago. At the time, I wasn't sure what to write about. Recognition? Money? Although those two things sound great, they are not exactly the reasons why I push myself so much academically. The more I thought about it, the more it became clear. My mother is my main motivation for everything I do. She is the reason I have accomplished my academic successes, and her influence has helped develop my aspirations.
I was born in [CITY], [COUNTRY] on [DATE] to a single mother. Although my mother, [NAME], has struggled greatly to sustain us on a single income, she has always done her best to ensure that I had shelter over my head and something to eat.
I was four when [NAME] decided to move us to the U.S. She wanted a new beginning for the both of us, and the United States was known as "the land of opportunity". Since we didn't have the necessary legal documentation, my mother and I traveled through Central America by bus. By the time we had arrived in Honduras, our money had started to run out. We had left most of our clothes and possessions behind in [COUNTRY], and it had gotten to a point where the only things we had left were the clothes on our backs and a few trinkets that we hadn't yet sold off. I don't recall much from the time we spent traveling, but there's one moment I still remember vividly. In the memory, I'm sitting on a yellow bed in an old motel room, nude and covered only with a thin blanket, watching the Looney Tunes on television while my mother washed the clothes I had just been wearing in the motel bathtub. It's this small, seemingly insignificant thing I remember, but it means so much. Before we had left Panama, my grandmother had urged [NAME] to leave me behind; however, even though my mother was fully aware that bringing me along wouldn't be easy, she still chose to do it. Through her actions, [NAME] has taught me that just because something does not look easy, it does not mean that the struggle isn't worth it.
A few months after we arrived in the U.S., my mother was able to find a maintenance job, and I started kindergarten. Because the only language I knew was Spanish at the time, I was placed into an ESL (English as a Second Language) class for an hour everyday. Those classes lasted until I was in third grade. Although I now acknowledge the necessity of those classes because they helped me learn the language, at the time I hated them with a fierce passion. I was the only one taking ESL in my grade, and kids often snickered behind my back when I did not understand something.
Despite transferring schools after third grade, my experience during those four years made a lasting impression on my attitude toward school and the goals I want to accomplish in life. I decided I didn't want anyone to think of me as less intelligent than them, and that is one of the reasons as to why I've tried so hard to succeed academically. Taking ESL also helped develop my passion for foreign languages (I will have studied French for five years by the end of my senior year) which in turn led me to become interested in International Relations.
Overall, my childhood has not been the easiest. My mother had trouble sustaining a job since she was undocumented, and this resulted in us having to move constantly. I attended eight different schools in nine years. I don't wish my childhood had turned out any different, however. My experiences have made me a stronger person and more appreciative of what I have today. My mother went through so much to allow me to have the same opportunities as an American child, and I don't want her to ever think it was all in vain. She believes in the American Dream, the idea that hard work equals success, and I, for one, am going to prove her right.
However, is it appropriate? I mention my undocumented status somewhere in there and I read that students should never write about illegal things they did, but what do you guys think? Also, any revision/editing suggestions are welcome!
Georgetown Prompt: As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your
own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.
Common Application Prompts (I haven't yet decided under which one to place it in): Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. OR Topic of your choice.
"What's your motivation?" That was the question posed to me in an essay for a Psychology class two years ago. At the time, I wasn't sure what to write about. Recognition? Money? Although those two things sound great, they are not exactly the reasons why I push myself so much academically. The more I thought about it, the more it became clear. My mother is my main motivation for everything I do. She is the reason I have accomplished my academic successes, and her influence has helped develop my aspirations.
I was born in [CITY], [COUNTRY] on [DATE] to a single mother. Although my mother, [NAME], has struggled greatly to sustain us on a single income, she has always done her best to ensure that I had shelter over my head and something to eat.
I was four when [NAME] decided to move us to the U.S. She wanted a new beginning for the both of us, and the United States was known as "the land of opportunity". Since we didn't have the necessary legal documentation, my mother and I traveled through Central America by bus. By the time we had arrived in Honduras, our money had started to run out. We had left most of our clothes and possessions behind in [COUNTRY], and it had gotten to a point where the only things we had left were the clothes on our backs and a few trinkets that we hadn't yet sold off. I don't recall much from the time we spent traveling, but there's one moment I still remember vividly. In the memory, I'm sitting on a yellow bed in an old motel room, nude and covered only with a thin blanket, watching the Looney Tunes on television while my mother washed the clothes I had just been wearing in the motel bathtub. It's this small, seemingly insignificant thing I remember, but it means so much. Before we had left Panama, my grandmother had urged [NAME] to leave me behind; however, even though my mother was fully aware that bringing me along wouldn't be easy, she still chose to do it. Through her actions, [NAME] has taught me that just because something does not look easy, it does not mean that the struggle isn't worth it.
A few months after we arrived in the U.S., my mother was able to find a maintenance job, and I started kindergarten. Because the only language I knew was Spanish at the time, I was placed into an ESL (English as a Second Language) class for an hour everyday. Those classes lasted until I was in third grade. Although I now acknowledge the necessity of those classes because they helped me learn the language, at the time I hated them with a fierce passion. I was the only one taking ESL in my grade, and kids often snickered behind my back when I did not understand something.
Despite transferring schools after third grade, my experience during those four years made a lasting impression on my attitude toward school and the goals I want to accomplish in life. I decided I didn't want anyone to think of me as less intelligent than them, and that is one of the reasons as to why I've tried so hard to succeed academically. Taking ESL also helped develop my passion for foreign languages (I will have studied French for five years by the end of my senior year) which in turn led me to become interested in International Relations.
Overall, my childhood has not been the easiest. My mother had trouble sustaining a job since she was undocumented, and this resulted in us having to move constantly. I attended eight different schools in nine years. I don't wish my childhood had turned out any different, however. My experiences have made me a stronger person and more appreciative of what I have today. My mother went through so much to allow me to have the same opportunities as an American child, and I don't want her to ever think it was all in vain. She believes in the American Dream, the idea that hard work equals success, and I, for one, am going to prove her right.