'Art changed and inspired me' - common app short answers

this is my short answer for my common app short answer. can any one give me feedback and suggestions for improvement please?

here it is (its is 951 characters):

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum):

When I was in the tenth grade I was chosen to become a student docent at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. In my first year I had to watch and learn from others. The older more experienced docents exuded a confidence and they knew almost everything there was to know about their art work and could answer any question asked of them. I was scared I would not be able to convey the same sureness and I wanted to pass on my passion for art in the best way that I could. Soon I became the trainer and a leader because of this program. I was passing on my experience and knowledge to the younger docents. They looked to me to learn and I was the example they would soon copy. The shyness and nervousness I had once felt had been lost and a new confident persona had taken over. Just knowing that I was looked up to along with the knowledge I has attained helped this new persona emerge. Art really had really changed and inspired me for the better.

Your third sentence should read: The older, more experienced docents exuded a confidence... Also, the ending of that sentence doesn't sound right to me. Perhaps you could change it to: ...exuded a confidence that made it seem as if they knew everything there was to know about their art work and could easily answer any question asked of them. (or something like that..) Also, I am not sure if sureness is a word. If it's not you could use assurance. I may be reading the sentence wrong, but in the sentence that begins "I was scared.." I would remove the and and put a comma followed by but. Also, I would rewrite the next sentences to read "As a result of the program, I soon became the trainer for younger docents and gained leadership skills. I was looked up to by the new docents and was able to pass on to them my experience and knowledge." Your final two sentences should read "Both my new knowledge and knowing that I was looked up to helped this new person emerge. Art really has changed and inspired me for the better."

Hope this helps :)

thank you!