Art Institute of Philadelphia acceptance essay

This is my acceptance essay that I have been working on and I am wondering if its to short...THE QUESTION "What are your career goals and how do you expect your eduction at the Art Institute of Philadelphia to help you attain them? In what ways will you participate and commit to your education to be successful?" MY ANSWER: I believe that the Art Institute of Philadelphia will help me become successful in many different ways.My long term career goal is to own or work for a company that specializes in creating drawings and graphic art for Movies,Video Games,Television etc.I also feel like the Art Institute will provide the equipment that I need to enhance my education in that kind of study.I expect my education at this school will help me attain my goals because the Art Institute also provides opportunities such as the Bachelor of Science degree program which prepares graduates for entry-level positions as 2D animators,3D animators and many other things.I will participate and commit to my education by coming and being prepared for class in a timely,orderly fashion every day that I am attending this school.I will remain faithful in my commitment as long as I attend the school.My dream is to work doing something love so it feels as if its not just a job but it is my career.

You have not put any spaces between your punctuation marks and the letters that follow them. I do not know why you have not done this, but you will notice that just about every written work of English follows this convention. So should you. Fix the punctuation, then repost.

Apart from the grammar that Sean has already commented on, your content in itself is very weak. You do not discuss why you deeply want to go to this college. It seems as if you just typed a lot of sentences, but these sentences lack meaning and depth. You never once say how this institute will SPECIFICALLY help you.

It is as if you wrote this essay for one college and you are going to recycle with with the obvious change in the name of the college in each essay.

I don't understand!...??????