Here's my main Commonapp essay for Yale. I am out of school so I can't go to the writing center. A counselor who agreed to help me to check it did not write to me any more. But I am so lucky to find this amazing website today! I know it is the last minute right now but I really want to know what you guys think about it. Thank you!:)
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
I did not realize how much I yearned to be an artist until a trip to the annual Print Fair in New York City last November. Among famous Western artworks with sky-high prices, an unknown Japanese print took my breath away. It was a white fish, with a dash of bright vermilion on the forehead, emerging from the dark ink on Japanese kozo paper. I was amazed by how it reflected the poetic beauty of Mother Nature and the ephemeral quality of life in haiku. I was even more astonished to find out that it was done by an American artist named Daniel Kelly. While spending the rest of the day reading his books, I could not stop crying. Although this amateur artist was once so poor that he could only afford a small Japanese print book, he had the courage to visit the author, a famous Japanese printmaker in Kyoto, and was miraculously accepted to be an apprentice. Five years of diligent learning and practice enabled him to produce such powerful artworks of ineffable oriental beauty. I recollected the nights when I wandered in the empty art studios and my initial purpose of coming to the U.S. to pursue a free life. But why am I cowardly fooling myself and constantly overlooking my interest in art? This is not what I am supposed to do. "Are you an artist?" the worker who had been staring at me asked me this question when I was about to leave the gallery space. "What do you think?" I did not answer. " I think you are." He said. I smiled with tears in my eyes. Yes, I was about to be.
After the trip, I started to incorporate art into my study about gender issues in East Asia. I am double majoring in Asian Studies and Biology at Mount Holyoke College because I want to better understand gender, LGBT and AIDS issues from both scientific and sociological perspectives. After getting involved in various activities and doing biology research, more and more did I realize the power of social media on these issues and my personal preference for social work over scientific research.
In my view, due to the lack of democracy in China, it is almost impossible to ensure human rights by going on demonstrations, writing proposals and amending the law. Instead, proper education and media impact can not only create a public opinion supportive of gender equality and LGBT rights, but also increase the pressure on the government and eventually force it to change. Art is always an efficient medium for enlightening a wide range of audience and promoting social change. For example, In Mexico, Diego Rivera used public murals to educate the illiterate public about racial equality and land distribution. In Britain, Banksy demonstrates the power of street art in criticizing the hypocrisy of the government. After years of successful economic development, China is in need of an intellectual revolution. The art field just started developing in China and a new breed of Chinese artists with independent thinking and social responsibility is already attracting attention.
I have been exploring a career that combines my passion for gender studies and my natural ability and interest in both art and science. When I recently heard about the field of medical illustration from a Mount Holyoke alumna, I knew that it was perfect for me. The career enables me to work closely with health professions as well as do freelance art projects. I plan to work as a medical illustrator in the field of public health and eventually run my own organization in Asia to educate the Asian community about gender, LGBT and AIDS issues through art, writing and social work. In order to get into a highly competitive medical illustration graduate program and prepare for my career, classes about art, public health and gender issues are crucial.
However, the course offerings at Mount Holyoke cannot meet my special academic interest. The Asian Studies program focuses mostly on China and the social sciences but I am interested in Japan and the humanities. Furthermore, because only one Mount Holyoke professor has offered a class that is related to gender issues in East Asia in the past several years, the only way to pursue my interest is through an independent study with him. In addition, the small Art Studio department at Mount Holyoke is almost entirely in traditional fine art but the knowledge about contemporary media is important for my future career. Therefore, I desire to go to a school with more resources and support for my study, especially more course choices related to art, Japan and gender studies.
The breadth of related course offerings and academic supports at Yale impressed me. I will continue majoring in East Asian Studies with a humanities track focusing on Japan. I plan to take classes about gender issues as well, particularly the seminar called Women and Literature in Traditional China with Prof. Kang-i and Gender and Sexuality in Media and Popular Culture with Prof. Laura. After studying with world-renowned professors, immersing in the abundant collections in the Sterling Memorial Library and conducting a research with OFP Research Fellowship, I hope to write a thesis about how gender image in contemporary media and sexism affects sexuality in East Asia.
In addition, in order to prepare for graduate study in medical illustration, I will double major in art and take at least three classes on human biology, molecular biology and public health. As my transcript shows, I have done well at Mount Holyoke College as well as other three schools in the Five College consortium. Therefore, I am convinced that I can make the most of the time at Yale and maintain academic success. After graduation, the recognition of a Yale degree and the strong network I can gain at Yale will not only increase my chance of getting into the highly competitive medical illustration programs, but also help me to gain support during my work process in Asia.
Vivienne Westwood also once doubted if a working-class girl like her could make a living in the art world and left the art school after only one semester. However, she revolutionized fashion twenty years later. I agree with what Friedrich Schiller said "there is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny," and I have chosen to embrace my destiny.
ephemeral quality of life
^Do not understand how quality of life is ephemeral...
Art is always an efficient medium for enlightening a wide range of audience and promoting social change
When I recently heard about the field of medical illustration from a Mount Holyoke alumna, I knew that it was perfect for me.
^Perhaps you can remove this. If you knew it was perfect, then there is no need to transfer?
It seems that you have done some good research on Yale's programs, to be honest.
Hopefully other people shall contribute to this essay so that it, can also become a piece of art (Lame wordplay, yes.)