I wrote this as a rough draft first and I'm really iffy about it. I feel like there's a lot of tell not show but at the same time I don't believe that it's listing qualities about myself.. please help!
Topic of Choice?
I leaped into the air ready to pounce. I brought my arm back with my paddle in hand and swung forward as if I were Reid Priddy of the US Men's Volleyball Team. The sound of a smooth "swoosh" reached my ears as both of my opponents and my teammate were silenced. Milliseconds later, the definitive thud of the ball hitting the ground behind me was all it took for the silence to be filled with our roaring laughter as we all realized how embarrassingly bad I had just whiffed the pickle ball. Moments like these showcase the transformation I've made from a shy girl who before would have been mortified at the situation to a confident and outgoing young woman who isn't afraid of a little embarrassment.
Growing up, academics came relatively easy to me. I enjoyed the company of Ebenezer Scrooge and Nancy Drew over real people. In math and science, rules and theorems guided me to success, but in life I had no concrete rule guaranteed to work. For me, interacting with others was the seemingly unrelenting challenge I often attributed to my Asian background in a predominantly white community. Vulnerability struck as my greatest fear. In middle school, even when I wasn't being ridiculed for my Asian heritage, I felt as if I were. Each remark about the fried rice I ate for lunch or assumption that I played violin when I actually played the saxophone built a new wall inside of me. I turned into a girl whose fear of making mistakes and facing embarrassment closed her off from people.
No specific incident broke down these walls I had up. Instead, they slowly began to crumble in high school through meeting other Asians who didn't have this problem. As I found my niche in Track and DECA, it became painfully obvious that I had perceived everything in the wrong way. My background was irrelevant to the problem. My issues manifested solely in me and my attitude. I could be happy if I really wanted to. It was about how much of myself I was willing to put out there and the energy I placed into acquainting myself with others. This profound discovery led me to start living with a new ardor in everything I do, even in activities as corny as gym class pickle ball. I finally let go of trying to be perfect-because when you give anything your all, you're bound to make blunders that you don't need to be afraid of. Success doesn't come from sitting on the sidelines. It comes from being willing to play the game. Nowadays, dramatically going to return the pickle ball only to completely whiff? No big. Life goes on. These moments give life a myriad of color.
Topic of Choice?
I leaped into the air ready to pounce. I brought my arm back with my paddle in hand and swung forward as if I were Reid Priddy of the US Men's Volleyball Team. The sound of a smooth "swoosh" reached my ears as both of my opponents and my teammate were silenced. Milliseconds later, the definitive thud of the ball hitting the ground behind me was all it took for the silence to be filled with our roaring laughter as we all realized how embarrassingly bad I had just whiffed the pickle ball. Moments like these showcase the transformation I've made from a shy girl who before would have been mortified at the situation to a confident and outgoing young woman who isn't afraid of a little embarrassment.
Growing up, academics came relatively easy to me. I enjoyed the company of Ebenezer Scrooge and Nancy Drew over real people. In math and science, rules and theorems guided me to success, but in life I had no concrete rule guaranteed to work. For me, interacting with others was the seemingly unrelenting challenge I often attributed to my Asian background in a predominantly white community. Vulnerability struck as my greatest fear. In middle school, even when I wasn't being ridiculed for my Asian heritage, I felt as if I were. Each remark about the fried rice I ate for lunch or assumption that I played violin when I actually played the saxophone built a new wall inside of me. I turned into a girl whose fear of making mistakes and facing embarrassment closed her off from people.
No specific incident broke down these walls I had up. Instead, they slowly began to crumble in high school through meeting other Asians who didn't have this problem. As I found my niche in Track and DECA, it became painfully obvious that I had perceived everything in the wrong way. My background was irrelevant to the problem. My issues manifested solely in me and my attitude. I could be happy if I really wanted to. It was about how much of myself I was willing to put out there and the energy I placed into acquainting myself with others. This profound discovery led me to start living with a new ardor in everything I do, even in activities as corny as gym class pickle ball. I finally let go of trying to be perfect-because when you give anything your all, you're bound to make blunders that you don't need to be afraid of. Success doesn't come from sitting on the sidelines. It comes from being willing to play the game. Nowadays, dramatically going to return the pickle ball only to completely whiff? No big. Life goes on. These moments give life a myriad of color.