prompt : Discuss your interest in combining management and technology. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in business and engineering help you meet your goals? Please be sure to address the nature and extent of your interests in both business and engineering. (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)
Please review this essay and point out any grammar mistakes, cliches and mundane statements. Also , is the essay smooth and interesting ? does it answer the prompt ? The program is highly selective .
"Bam, the market fell again." I was trying to complete my homework, consisting of mainly few drawings when I heard my father shouting these words. I was hysterical on hearing this, how can Market in its common sense fell? As the laughter subsided, I was curious, so I asked my father the same question. This was the first time I encountered business and its true nature - I was 9 at the time. From then on began my journey into the world of commerce. Each bit of knowledge I have of business comes from my father and my self-study - whether it's theory of production or study of international markets. On contrary, my trysts with technology didn't start at home. This journey began in my school as I tried to decipher those geeky codes written by my seniors. An 11 year old myself always wondered what those scary looking statements meant as I did work on Paint in my computer lab. As the time flowed, each piece of puzzle fitted in place - as I discovered the mystery of Java and C++. These two worlds of business and technology remained separate but only till recent time.
In the beginning of my sophomore year, I was handed over a project - by my father. It was related to web development, something I was good at. Initially, I was scared but constant encouragement from my family made me trust my abilities. So I recruited a small team of my friends - consisting of both commerce and science stream students. Being a science student myself, it was my first venture into practice of business. Over next few weeks, I worked over many different spheres - assisting the development of both front end and back end functionality of website and managing the costs of project with my team. As the website took shape, I realized that our success was built upon a strong foundation of business expertise combined with engineering acumen. Finally, our hard work paid off, with a fully functional website that garnered a new reputation for our company. Since then, I have gained much more knowledge about business and finance, through online finance classes and being a part of a web designing team at the online "Technological Entrepreneurship" course launched by Stanford this year. But what I lacked detailed knowledge of engineering principles, added to sound economic concepts that can add immense production capabilities to any enterprise.
That where the Jerome Fisher program is going to help me. An intensive program like this will help me shape into a successful engineering entrepreneur and this is what I dream to be. It's the only program I have been able to find that allows me to combine my interests in economics along with engineering. Living in a world where advent of new technologies is occurring at such a rapid pace, a course that makes me proficient in language of both commerce and science will be great asset for me. Along with that, I can clearly hear my phone buzzing with job offers. A four year long program to attain an education on level of MBA would be a dream come true for me, enabling me financially support my family earlier. Well aware of the workload that will accompany this program, I cannot leave a chance to master technical and management skills needed to deal effectively with the challenges and opportunities in our ruthlessly competitive business world. Combined with the liberal arts curriculum of Penn, there would be no obstacle I wouldn't be able to cross to reach my goal. Being a part of Jerome Fisher program would be the most important venture I would ever make or have made, building me into a person with a strong grasp on the technical businesses.
Please review this essay and point out any grammar mistakes, cliches and mundane statements. Also , is the essay smooth and interesting ? does it answer the prompt ? The program is highly selective .
"Bam, the market fell again." I was trying to complete my homework, consisting of mainly few drawings when I heard my father shouting these words. I was hysterical on hearing this, how can Market in its common sense fell? As the laughter subsided, I was curious, so I asked my father the same question. This was the first time I encountered business and its true nature - I was 9 at the time. From then on began my journey into the world of commerce. Each bit of knowledge I have of business comes from my father and my self-study - whether it's theory of production or study of international markets. On contrary, my trysts with technology didn't start at home. This journey began in my school as I tried to decipher those geeky codes written by my seniors. An 11 year old myself always wondered what those scary looking statements meant as I did work on Paint in my computer lab. As the time flowed, each piece of puzzle fitted in place - as I discovered the mystery of Java and C++. These two worlds of business and technology remained separate but only till recent time.
In the beginning of my sophomore year, I was handed over a project - by my father. It was related to web development, something I was good at. Initially, I was scared but constant encouragement from my family made me trust my abilities. So I recruited a small team of my friends - consisting of both commerce and science stream students. Being a science student myself, it was my first venture into practice of business. Over next few weeks, I worked over many different spheres - assisting the development of both front end and back end functionality of website and managing the costs of project with my team. As the website took shape, I realized that our success was built upon a strong foundation of business expertise combined with engineering acumen. Finally, our hard work paid off, with a fully functional website that garnered a new reputation for our company. Since then, I have gained much more knowledge about business and finance, through online finance classes and being a part of a web designing team at the online "Technological Entrepreneurship" course launched by Stanford this year. But what I lacked detailed knowledge of engineering principles, added to sound economic concepts that can add immense production capabilities to any enterprise.
That where the Jerome Fisher program is going to help me. An intensive program like this will help me shape into a successful engineering entrepreneur and this is what I dream to be. It's the only program I have been able to find that allows me to combine my interests in economics along with engineering. Living in a world where advent of new technologies is occurring at such a rapid pace, a course that makes me proficient in language of both commerce and science will be great asset for me. Along with that, I can clearly hear my phone buzzing with job offers. A four year long program to attain an education on level of MBA would be a dream come true for me, enabling me financially support my family earlier. Well aware of the workload that will accompany this program, I cannot leave a chance to master technical and management skills needed to deal effectively with the challenges and opportunities in our ruthlessly competitive business world. Combined with the liberal arts curriculum of Penn, there would be no obstacle I wouldn't be able to cross to reach my goal. Being a part of Jerome Fisher program would be the most important venture I would ever make or have made, building me into a person with a strong grasp on the technical businesses.
