Bates College : Supplementary Essay - "How this Statement inspires you."

Bates educates the whole person through creative and rigorous scholarship in a collaborative residential community.
I generally disagree with the type of tertiary education available in my homeland Austria. Though I appreciate its availability for no charge, I long after an education that truly satisfies my mind and strengthens me as an individual rather than to serve the sole purpose to get me a well paid job. I don't want to push myself through college only to obtain a degree for which I have little to no passion; that is not my definition of success.

The four years ahead of me are probably as essential to my life as anything will ever be. It is not just about studying but about finding out what I will eventually do with my life. I am convinced that Bates College will help me achieve this like nothing else. It is the ideal way of approaching the act of learning I have always dreamed about. I look forward to be guided through college by caring professors that drive us students to critical thinking and the exploration of different areas of study. Bates' campus offers countless opportunities to find joy and connect with peers to establish a unique community that accompanies students through college. It is very important for me to be able to feel accomplished inside as well as outside the classroom; it appeals to me that more than half of the student body participates in varsity or club sports.

All this resembles the college experience I long for so much. Offering a little microcosm that thrives with exceptionally talented professors and an active student body, Bates College is my place to go.

The overall idea is good, but i feel like this essay could be written for any other college. I think you should make the essay more specific to Bates.

Just my thoughts! :)

It seems as if you're criticizing you country's education. You want to show the admissions officer that you would be a great addition to the college. So, don't disparage your country's education but focus more on why you think you would be a perfect fit for Bates.

"Though I appreciate its availability for no charge" - the wordings off. makes it seam like you appreciation normally comes at a price, but you are making it free of charge this time.

" rather than to serveserving the sole purpose to get me a well paid job"

it will also be nice if you included the question so we can see how well you did against the prompt

I am sorry I forgot.

In addition to the Common Application essay, please select one phrase from the Bates mission statement below and comment on how it inspires you and draws you to Bates. Please upload your 1-2 paragraph response below.

Bates educates the whole person through creative and rigorous scholarship in a collaborative residential community.

I am not in favor of the approach of tertiary education in my homeland, Austria. I appreciate its free of charge availability, however, I find it fails to truly satisfy my mind and strengthens me as an individual rather than to serve the sole purpose to get me a well paid job.


Ok... if you claim that you are not happy about Austrian education system, then you need to tell them why it is so. You do not justify that claim adequately. Tell how it fails to satisfy your mind and individual aspirations. More than everything, you need to tell them what features would satisfy you and what are your aspirations in terms of education . And then whether you would find those things in Bates.

I feel you better re-organize the flow - First tell them what you seek in tertiary education and then tell the rest.

Thanks on reviewing my essay. I know I am too late now but as a German applicant (similar educational system in Germany) I totally understand where you're coming from. I like your essay and actually read it before I wrote mine. I like it. I think that we as internationals need to take risks sometimes. :)