Hi! This is the common app essay draft that I have right now and any feedback/edit/criticism would be greatly appreciated!!! If you feel that this essay should be scrapped or restructured big time, dont hesitate to let me know (I have extra essays)!
PROMPT: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrp! There, the classic lip warm up.This is it Danny. All those practice hours in the basement. Take a quick sip of water; you can't rush in with a dry throat. Remember, no excessive hand gestures and communicate with the crowd.
I run on to the stage as the loudspeaker booms out my name. There's a roar of applause. Mic? Check. 3, 2, 1. Let's go.
I am a self-proclaimed vocal percussionist. I love to practice what is commonly known as beatboxing, a modern art form that involves creating instrument sounds with only one's vocal chords.
Nowadays using four languages a day isn't uncommon; years ago, even two seemed to be more than I could handle. Born in Korea and thrown into an English speaking community in a Mandarin speaking province, I was confused and disoriented. In the midst of this chaotic adolescence I developed my "second language", expressing myself through musical sounds when words wouldn't do my thoughts justice.
When I was old enough to realize that erratically banging chopsticks on cups wasn't considered drumming and mature enough to realize my constant nagging for a drum kit wasn't helping my family's financial struggles, all I could do was listen to music. Amidst these obstacles I was challenged by a quote from my childhood hero Caillou: "Not having should never be an excuse for not doing". Soon, tapping to the beat and imitating instruments became my true childhood hobby.
However, it wasn't until a family trip to downtown Philadelphia that I first witnessed the captivating art of beatboxing. The notion that a human had the capability to produce such articulate sounds without any external technology was a revelation. Upon returning home, I shouted to my baby sister "Check this out!" and started ridiculously attempting to recreate the sound I had just heard. She responded with a disdainful frown, "Oppa yibbe muh gyutseo?" (Do you have something stuck in your mouth?). But I didn't let that dissuade me - at that point, I was already enthralled.
Back then, beatboxing still had little following in my country. For instance, if you googled "beatboxing" in Google, the search suggested various kickboxing positions rather than actual beatboxing techniques. Nevertheless, I persisted in unearthing information about this obscure activity, eagerly perusing every video tutorial that I could find. Of course, like any art form, perfecting different beats and sounds took hours of work. Practicing until I could barely speak anymore wasn't uncommon, and the distressing nasal surgeries that came around from breathing complications did not faze me.
This past summer, I finally had a chance to share my passion for beatboxing with the world. From the days of getting ridiculed by my younger sister, I had come to perform on a stage in front of an 800-strong live audience, standing with the very man who had inspired me to take up beatboxing. Nowadays, I continue to perform at local talent shows and fundraisers, leading my own volunteer music organization around the community.
What is so fascinating about beatboxing is the fact that I don't know what I'll be doing - there's no formula behind it. The satisfaction of impromptu creativity delights me. Often inspired by the emotions, the atmosphere, and the moment, sometimes I start off a technical 12/8 beat like that of a Baroque clarinet concerto with elements of upbeat electro. On others, a laid-back groove with roots in old-school hip-hop might conjure itself for the crowd.
What matters to me the most, though, is that creating music through beatboxing is a door to a world with adventure, thrill, and the truest expression. To me, every single sound has its own emotion, no matter the instrument. Frogs croaking in the pond is music, a waterfall splashing is a harmony. A carpenter hammering timber is a rhythm, children laughing is a melody. In what might seem a strange cacophony of noises individually, those emotions eventually come together to conceive an euphonic beat of boundless possibilities, transforming into something much more than sound, and that in itself excites me.
P.S. I know this is late but I'm really seeking feedback before deadline!!! Please help!
PROMPT: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrp! There, the classic lip warm up.This is it Danny. All those practice hours in the basement. Take a quick sip of water; you can't rush in with a dry throat. Remember, no excessive hand gestures and communicate with the crowd.
I run on to the stage as the loudspeaker booms out my name. There's a roar of applause. Mic? Check. 3, 2, 1. Let's go.
I am a self-proclaimed vocal percussionist. I love to practice what is commonly known as beatboxing, a modern art form that involves creating instrument sounds with only one's vocal chords.
Nowadays using four languages a day isn't uncommon; years ago, even two seemed to be more than I could handle. Born in Korea and thrown into an English speaking community in a Mandarin speaking province, I was confused and disoriented. In the midst of this chaotic adolescence I developed my "second language", expressing myself through musical sounds when words wouldn't do my thoughts justice.
When I was old enough to realize that erratically banging chopsticks on cups wasn't considered drumming and mature enough to realize my constant nagging for a drum kit wasn't helping my family's financial struggles, all I could do was listen to music. Amidst these obstacles I was challenged by a quote from my childhood hero Caillou: "Not having should never be an excuse for not doing". Soon, tapping to the beat and imitating instruments became my true childhood hobby.
However, it wasn't until a family trip to downtown Philadelphia that I first witnessed the captivating art of beatboxing. The notion that a human had the capability to produce such articulate sounds without any external technology was a revelation. Upon returning home, I shouted to my baby sister "Check this out!" and started ridiculously attempting to recreate the sound I had just heard. She responded with a disdainful frown, "Oppa yibbe muh gyutseo?" (Do you have something stuck in your mouth?). But I didn't let that dissuade me - at that point, I was already enthralled.
Back then, beatboxing still had little following in my country. For instance, if you googled "beatboxing" in Google, the search suggested various kickboxing positions rather than actual beatboxing techniques. Nevertheless, I persisted in unearthing information about this obscure activity, eagerly perusing every video tutorial that I could find. Of course, like any art form, perfecting different beats and sounds took hours of work. Practicing until I could barely speak anymore wasn't uncommon, and the distressing nasal surgeries that came around from breathing complications did not faze me.
This past summer, I finally had a chance to share my passion for beatboxing with the world. From the days of getting ridiculed by my younger sister, I had come to perform on a stage in front of an 800-strong live audience, standing with the very man who had inspired me to take up beatboxing. Nowadays, I continue to perform at local talent shows and fundraisers, leading my own volunteer music organization around the community.
What is so fascinating about beatboxing is the fact that I don't know what I'll be doing - there's no formula behind it. The satisfaction of impromptu creativity delights me. Often inspired by the emotions, the atmosphere, and the moment, sometimes I start off a technical 12/8 beat like that of a Baroque clarinet concerto with elements of upbeat electro. On others, a laid-back groove with roots in old-school hip-hop might conjure itself for the crowd.
What matters to me the most, though, is that creating music through beatboxing is a door to a world with adventure, thrill, and the truest expression. To me, every single sound has its own emotion, no matter the instrument. Frogs croaking in the pond is music, a waterfall splashing is a harmony. A carpenter hammering timber is a rhythm, children laughing is a melody. In what might seem a strange cacophony of noises individually, those emotions eventually come together to conceive an euphonic beat of boundless possibilities, transforming into something much more than sound, and that in itself excites me.
P.S. I know this is late but I'm really seeking feedback before deadline!!! Please help!
