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I believe on Penn's education. Supplemental Essay for John Hopkins.


Harriet 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2017   #1

Why I think Johns Hopkins suits me best



Growing up in Ghana with my mother in the United States, I knew that my future held endless opportunities and I was eager to explore them. I have used all the resources available to me to learn about Johns Hopkins; mainly through the mailing communications, the school's website, my guidance counselor and social media. I am very excited for the opportunities that Johns Hopkins offers to its students and I am hopeful that I will be one.

I love the interdisciplinary aspect of Johns Hopkins. I want to be knowledgeable in different fields of study and use the knowledge to better improve the world, specifically the health sector of developing countries. The flexible approach to learning at Hopkins will allow me to explore my varied interests and be able to physically experience and involve myself in activities in the different fields and corresponding research through the Krieger School of Arts and Sciences Fellowship Programs. Furthermore, The College of Arts and Sciences at Johns Hopkins will give me a solid liberal arts education that will help me approach the 21st-century world with multiple views in different lenses and perspectives. I admire that Hopkins puts emphasis on student involvement in the learning process and I hope to gain immensely from this. I plan to build free health clinics, hospitals, and educational centers. Additionally, I would like to implement a non-profit organization that will help alleviate the problems of developing countries such as the cost of education and the low quality of life.

In addition to my academic and intellectual interests, I hope to continue with my extracurricular interests as well. My religion is very important to me and I seek to continue practicing my through the Adventist Christian Fellowship at Hopkins and together with my vocal ability, join the Adoremus Christian Acapella group. I was very excited to learn about the Adventist Christian Fellowship on campus, most of the schools I was researching did not have one with the exception of Adventist schools. I am humbled by service to others; giving back to the community is a deed that I value and I will continue this passion by participating in A Helping Hand and ABC Health. Likewise, I intend to engage in the diversity of Johns Hopkins by joining the JHU African Students Association, which will allow me to keep in contact with my African culture and build a strong social network.

All things considered, an education from Johns Hopkins is what I need. Hopkin's flexible curriculum will help me acquire the different knowledge that I will need for my future plans. Additionally, its supportive and encouraging environment will help me reach my goals. I believe with a Penn education, I can achieve my dreams; the research opportunities and available awards will lead me to them.

nandasharma 14 / 53 9  
Jan 7, 2017   #2
@Harriet

Growing up in Ghana with my mother in the United States....

With my mother in the United States, I grew up in Ghana with a belief that my future held endless opportunities in its pocket for me.

...Johns Hopkins; mainly through e-mails, the school's...

I am hopeful that I will be one of them.

...use the knowledge to better improve the world-specifically ...

... education from Johns Hopkins is what I need can help me to contribute ...

you have a weak conclusion over here. It sounds like you're going to further describe about your future plans after this... so better replace this with a more convincing one.

I believe with a Penn education, I can achieve my dreams; the research opportunities and available awards will lead me to them.

Do post your revised version again on this thread.
Best.
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Jan 7, 2017   #3
Harriet, your essay tells us why you have chosen John Hopkins as your primary university application choice. You have not told us why you feel that John Hopkins will suit your academic needs, interests, and pursuits. In order to properly address the prompt, you need to not only tell us about the facilities that John Hopkins has, because as the reviewer, I already know everything that you are talking about here so you don't need to repeat that data to me. Instead. I would like to know why these offers align with your academic interests, research pursuits, or social advocacy. What you have here is basically a rehash of information publicly available except for the part about the choir. So keep the part about the choir intact. Rework the academic reasons as to why you feel Hopkins is a good fit for you instead. Tell us what you are interested in learning and how Hopkins can help with that. Be specific. The information you must share should be directly related to your chosen major. Not generalized information as you have now. Try to think of your response in this sense: "How do my academic interests fit into the Hopkins curriculum?" Discuss from there. Your advocacy information is not relevant in this essay because you do not explain how you can pursue these interests while at the university. That is part of how you "fit" in with the student community and social advocacy community at the university.


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