I had always been looking for a perfect ending which my efforts may deserve. I cheer for the debating championship, basketball game prize, and immerse in the world pictured by curving and painting, while depressed by my unsatisfying outcomes and rush harder to my goals. It has been tired. It's not like" life is full of possibilities and you got to chase your limitless dream", but an infinite hole arisen from my voracious heart.
This kind of thought accompanied me during my application process. I poured my worries to my closest friend. What if I failed? "Fail? What's the big deal?" She said, "You know what? I don't really care whether I ended up going Tufts University or any other colleges; I won't change my faith of growing to be what kind of person. So will you. You had been staring on the outward results. Why not seeing what's inward?"
Her words kept lingering in my mind, made me think the "real" intention of all things I had done. Her words recalled me to my unstable childhood environment, in which I changed three kindergartens and five primary schools. Whether in the school which had a tiny gritted playground, or in the best one in neighborhood with fresh equipments, I was diligent, with childish determination being the best one. However, it was always on my half way or on a slight distance reaching my goal that I got transferred, from old neighborhood to the city centre, then to the overseas. I never saw my results.
I accepted all the changes. I grabbed my camera photographing clouds during the hottest August in a suburb in Japan, rode my pink bike, and looked up to the sky all day long. I longed for the permanence that would allow me to see my developed pictures. "See what's inward." Memories occasionally pop, from which I found inconsistent environments actually trained me to be flexible, led me adjust to alterations soon and concentrate on what I care about immediately. I found what kind of person I have grown to be. I care about communities I live, taking care of olds and voluntarily weeding the park. I have passion in oil painting, working several months on my created piece, and send them to my friends on their birthdays. I inhibit myself without much parent's supervision and manage my own time since first grade. I never saw the outcome of a long period, yet the result itself already came and implanted deep in my soul.
My friend's advice altered my attitude towards both my past and future. It did remind my true intention to apply for universities in U.S: to pursue liberal arts education that allows me developing comprehensively. "See what's inward." Sayings never lack, while I seldom relate them such tightly with me as I do now, when I recognize that how I continue my journey actually matters more than, where I go and where I stay.
Thanks for any ideas!!
This kind of thought accompanied me during my application process. I poured my worries to my closest friend. What if I failed? "Fail? What's the big deal?" She said, "You know what? I don't really care whether I ended up going Tufts University or any other colleges; I won't change my faith of growing to be what kind of person. So will you. You had been staring on the outward results. Why not seeing what's inward?"
Her words kept lingering in my mind, made me think the "real" intention of all things I had done. Her words recalled me to my unstable childhood environment, in which I changed three kindergartens and five primary schools. Whether in the school which had a tiny gritted playground, or in the best one in neighborhood with fresh equipments, I was diligent, with childish determination being the best one. However, it was always on my half way or on a slight distance reaching my goal that I got transferred, from old neighborhood to the city centre, then to the overseas. I never saw my results.
I accepted all the changes. I grabbed my camera photographing clouds during the hottest August in a suburb in Japan, rode my pink bike, and looked up to the sky all day long. I longed for the permanence that would allow me to see my developed pictures. "See what's inward." Memories occasionally pop, from which I found inconsistent environments actually trained me to be flexible, led me adjust to alterations soon and concentrate on what I care about immediately. I found what kind of person I have grown to be. I care about communities I live, taking care of olds and voluntarily weeding the park. I have passion in oil painting, working several months on my created piece, and send them to my friends on their birthdays. I inhibit myself without much parent's supervision and manage my own time since first grade. I never saw the outcome of a long period, yet the result itself already came and implanted deep in my soul.
My friend's advice altered my attitude towards both my past and future. It did remind my true intention to apply for universities in U.S: to pursue liberal arts education that allows me developing comprehensively. "See what's inward." Sayings never lack, while I seldom relate them such tightly with me as I do now, when I recognize that how I continue my journey actually matters more than, where I go and where I stay.
Thanks for any ideas!!