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'beyonce sings with such passion'- UChicago optional



LUDACRISS007 3 / 4  
Jan 3, 2011   #1
Share with us a few of your favorite books, poems, authors, films, plays, pieces of music, musicians, performers, paintings, artists, blogs, magazines, or newspapers? Feel free to touch on one, some, or all of the categories listed, or add a category of your own.

She sings with such passion that you wish she was singing about your life. She has a voice that would belong only to angels and determination owned only by warriors. She is a Texas born hip-hop singer, who has fought for what she has and that is why Beyoncé Giselle Knowles, is my favorite musician and performer.

She started as a member of a group called Destiny's child and later moved on to form her solo career. That was her team. I believe everyone needs a team for solid foundation, to help one another advance, before they each can go solo taking with them knowledge from that team and using it. She has overcome serious depression but no matter what happens, Beyoncé never forgets to give back to the community, creating opportunities for others who could be just like her someday. People often wonder why she sings so well and in my opinion, it's all in her voice.

When Beyoncé sings she can convey any emotion she wishes properly. She uses the little voice God gave her and turns it into something much more. That is what I believe true hard work is. It means using what you have and apply it overcoming obstacles, and making it grow. That is what I intend to do at the University of Chicago. So whether I am cleaning, jogging or even cooking, listening to Beyoncé's music just empowers me; because I know the person behind the music is someone just like me.

please help me read over it and tell me what you think.is it too long?any other comments?thank you :D

mimiallen 4 / 8  
Jan 3, 2011   #2
I Think overall this is good but i also think you should focus more on how beyonce impacts your life other than saying she is like you. how is she connected to you? Also go into detail about what you intend on doing at U.O.C i think you began to scratch the surface, but a little more detail will make this essay better.
mundaka 4 / 8  
Jan 4, 2011   #3
make it more about you , seems like a biography on Beyonce
DudeTies 1 / 2  
Jan 4, 2011   #4
Same as above, but to me, this looks more like Beyoncé's biography instead of her impact on your life/vision. Maybe you can make this clear using more artists.


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