Biology study - What are your career goals and how did you develop them?

Hello all,
Here is my written response for my short answer question(400 character limit). I would appreciate any feedback.

What are your career goals and how did you develop them?

My goal is to study biology and enter the medical field. I've always liked working with children, getting to know them, and helping them. What I would like to do in life is to become a pediatrician so I can help children be healthy to the best of my abilities.

Thank you so much for your help!

Hello there, welcome to EssayForum.
Your response is quite short. To response "What are your career goals" you might start to talk about you short term vision following by long term vision. In order to archive that you need to gain more knowledge and skill by earn local or international qualification. Use the key work and talk about that. Let's try it. :)

Carmen, the response is incomplete. Either use the first topic sentence about how your goal is to study medicine so you can become a doctor or you want to become a doctor to help kids. Both are topic sentences but will not allow you to properly respond to the how you have developed your skills leading to either field with only 400 characters allowed for the response.

Once you have settled upon which of the two topic sentences you wish to use, write a single sentence explanation as to how you have managed to create a foundation for this interest. If you choose the study Biology topic, then explain what you have done so far to help you become a better biologist such as attending biology symposiums or working with a scientist in the field.

If you choose becoming a doctor to help kids, then you have to explain how you were exposed to the field of pediatrics and what you have learned about it so far. For example, you could explain that you work as a volunteer at a pediatric clinic or something. You cannot use two topic sentences in this essay without having explanatory sentences that explain how you developed the interest or how you have grown the foundation of that interest.