The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
250-650 words
Hey, guys I really need some help editing this paper, I am not a very strong writer. I honestly procrastinated with writing this essay I been so busy but my first deadline is Friday I would appreciate any and all help!
Sc State
Emory University
Georgia Institute of Technology
Georgia State University
Howard University
Johns Hopkins University
New York University
Spelman College
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
As I entered the 3rd grade, I did not envision that my first year of public school would play out the way it did.
I was homeschooled from Kindergarten to 2nd grade so when my mom decided to place me in public school my 3rd-grade year, I was overwhelmed with excitement. I would finally have the opportunity to make friends and have fun interacting with kids my age. At least that is what I wanted but things didn't go as planned.
From the moment I stepped into my elementary school, I was immediately deemed as being weird and awkward. My eccentric style of dress and shyness were to blame. I stood out. I tried to act normal but no matter how much effort I put in, I never was truly accepted by my peers. I always heard their laughter, always felt their looks of disapproval cold against my skin. I failed to fit in. It was undoubtedly one of the worst feelings to endure. To never be chosen to be anyone's group partner, to be an object of bullying or to be forced to sit at lunch alone. To feel unwanted, rejected and completely alienated from everyone else.
During this period in my life, I was marked with constant days of depression. I found myself crying often. There were even times where I spent what seemed like hours in the mirror trying to decipher what part of me was unfitting. Was it the way I talked? The way I dressed? Was it my hair? Why wasn't I appealing to others? These were the questions that paraded my mind each day. I was completely wrapped around the idea that something was wrong with me and that changing myself would make everything better.
It wasn't until 5th grade that I actually attempted to make a change to myself. I decided to alter the way I dressed. I wanted to dispose of my "ugly" clothing and adopt a wardrobe similar to the girls at school.
While in the process of throwing out my favorite pair of Dr. Martens, I burst into tears. I absolutely loved those boots, I couldn't stir myself to get rid of them. I also loved my old pair of green chucks and tie-dyed alien shirt that sat in the pile of things I was going to throw out. These were things that made me me, the things that me happy. I wiped my tears, took a brief moment and asked myself: Would I really allow people to deter me from being who I truly was? Was fitting in really worth losing my individuality? Worth losing a sense of myself?
Absolutely not.
I sat on the edge of my bed that day and came to the realization that I probably would never fit in, but I was completely okay with that. Being who I truly was more rewarding than trying to be someone I was not. Today it is still difficult for me to fit in but I have learned to surround myself around people who accept me for who I am. No, I do not have a plethora of friends and yes, people tend to point out my weirdness. But I have learned to find contentment in this. I have learned to embrace every aspect of myself. I discovered that it was okay to step outside of the box, to challenge what was believed to be normal. Because there lies beauty in the things that are odd and unusual.
My experience has broadened my understanding of the concept of failure. Failure isn't a shortcoming. Failure is a learning process, an opportunity to acknowledge our faults and blossom from them. Often, we as people have this indestructible fear of failure implanted within us. Failure shouldn't be feared but embraced. It's failure that brings us closer to success. I will carry this wisdom with me the rest of my life.
(650 words)
I think the first line should be merged with the second paragraph since they're discussing the same thing.I also think you should take a look at your paragraphing and the transition between paragraphs.
i think "style of dress" should be changed to "style of dressing", the former sounds like you're speaking about the style of a particular dress and not describing the way you dress.
But generally I think the essay is a good one. i think it offers a lot about who you are, and colleges are looking for that.
