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I WAS BORN IN RIYADH; Story line of MY LIFE



lala 1991 1 / 1  
Feb 7, 2013   #1
Hi, I'm lulu. I need help with my writing. English is not my native tongue and I'm trying my best on the college application. Any help is going to be useful.

my name is lulu.I am 20 years old .I was born in Riyadh on 26,oct,1991.I am the only girl in my family they was very happy when i came to the life.I have two brothers I love them so much.They made my life sweet and happy.

One person can have a lasting effect in your decisions and the way you perceive life. It is that one person who knows you best, that has the most influence on your life.

This person can be very inspirational and even more if it is someone close to you or a relative. In my case, it is my big brother who has prominently impacted my life. He has been there to support me in my many decisions, whether they were smart or foolish ones. It is due to my brother that I am the ambitious, responsible, and respectful person that I am today

My big brother has been a wonderful friend.He is 23 years old , studying at ksu in college of law and Political Science.my second brother Muhammed is 19 years old .

he studying engineering in UK.he is sensitive , stoical and lovely person.

Throughout the course of life, each person experiences obstacles that have long lasting effects on them. These obstacles help shape the person's point of view and lifestyle.

The first real stress in my life was the divorce of my parents. My parents got divorced when I was five years old, and, at that time, I did not truly understand what had happened. Deep in my heart, I wished that my mother would come back and everything would be well again. It did not happen. For ten years, I and my brothers lived with my father.

then, we moved to live with our mother.
Friedrich Nietzsche said, "Everything that does not kill you makes you stronger." I agree with him, because after the analysis of my own live I understand that I became more thoughtful, humane, and just a better person in general as a result of all of the obstacles that I have overcome. I started to pay more attention to my future by revisiting and analyzing the past.

Now I am a positive and I believe that God will make all my dreams be truth.

SKhan 2 / 5  
Feb 7, 2013   #2
good effort lulu! but you need to relate the sentences and then slowly move towards other things.
few grammar mistakes as well.
OP lala 1991 1 / 1  
Feb 7, 2013   #3
Can you correct my paragraph, please ?
SKhan 2 / 5  
Feb 7, 2013   #4
lala 1991

my name is lulu.(give space) I am 20 years old (fullstop is placed just after the sentence without spacing) .(space) I was born in Riyadh on 26,oct,1991.(space) I am the only girl in my family.theymy parentswaswere very happy when i came to thewaslife born.(space) I have two brothers I love them so much.They made my life sweet and happy.i am the only sister of my two brothers, who made my life sweet and happy.

One there is always a
person canwho haves a lasting effect in your decisions and the way you perceive life. It is that one person who knows you the best,and that person has the most influence on your life.This person can be evenverymore inspirational Attach file(s) if it is someone close to you or a relative . In my case, it is my big brother who has a prominently impactedon my life. He has been there to support me in my many decisions, whether they were smart or foolish ones. It is due to my brother that I am the ambitious, responsible, and respectful person that I am today.

My big brother has been amy wonderful friend.(space)his name is...., He is 23 years oldno space) , studying atinksu (use CAPITAL LETTERS or full name) KSAin college of law and Political Science.(space) my second brother Muhammed is 19 years old (no space).,

he studying engineering in the UK.(space) he is sensitive no space) , stoical(do you mean social??) and lovely person.
Throughout the course of life, each person experiences obstacles that have long lasting effects on themhim/her . These obstacles help shape thea person's point of view and lifestyle.

The first real stress in my life was the divorce of my parents. My parents got divorced when I was five years old, and, at that time, I did not truly understand what hads happened. Deep in my heart, I wished that my mother would come back and everything would be well again. It did not happen. For ten years, Ime and my brothers lived with my father., then, we moved to live with our mother.

Friedrich Nietzsche said, "Everything that does not kill you makes you stronger." I agree with him, because after the analysis of my own livelife, I understand that I havebecamebecome more thoughtful, humane, and just a better person in general as a result of all of the obstacles that I have overcome. I have started to pay more attention to my future by revisiting and analyzing the past.

Now I am a positive person and I believe that God will make all my dreams be truth.come true.


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