Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate % width   Posts: 2


How I've been a Bridge Builder in High School (250 word limit) NYU Supplement



gigi_aa 3 / 6  
1 day ago   #1
Hi everyone! I'd really appreciate as much feedback as possible on the final draft of my NYU supplement below. NYU is my dream school so I really want to get this response as perfect as possible. Thank you in advance :)

In a world where disconnection seems to often prevail, we are looking for students who embody the qualities of bridge builders-students who can connect people, groups, and ideas to span divides, foster understanding, and promote collaboration within a dynamic, interconnected, and vibrant global academic community. We are eager to understand how your experiences have prepared you to build the bridges of the future. Please consider one or more of the following questions in your essay:
· What personal experiences or challenges have shaped you as a bridge builder?
· How have you been a bridge builder in your school, community, or personal life?
· What specific actions have you taken to build bridges between diverse groups, ideas, or cultures?
· How do you envision being a bridge builder during your time at our university and beyond?


As an African debater, I'd noticed that my peers seldom competed internationally, their opportunities limited to selective, unaffordable championships. Many talented young oralists from underprivileged and underrepresented countries were experiencing a similar situation. So, I organized an intercontinental Moot-Court tournament free of all barriers characteristic of world championships (cost-free, open to all skill-levels and nationalities, and more) where youth, from Kazakhstan to South Africa, Morocco to the Maldives, gathered to moot and debate children's rights and labor laws. Ultimately, the formal setting unraveled, segueing into animated chatter and conversation. This portion deviated from the schedule and blossomed spontaneously, but I found it as charming as the debate rounds and moot court deliveries. I saw walls crumble and reticence melt away as we shared stories from our very different daily lives and taught each other silly terms in our native tongues.

Through this experience and several others, I realized that most people want to come together but need a small push-and I'm happy to initiate it.

At NYU, I'll be pushing some more. I'm excited to contribute to NYU CEDA's partnerships with the IPPF and Brooklyn Public Library's Bridging the Gap, endeavors wherein I see myself, whether as a volunteer judge or event coordinator, building bridges between different age groups and communities by encouraging dialogue in inclusive debate settings. A baker at heart, I also hope to add a twist to Strawberry Fest, dedicating a segment to taste-testing strawberry-based dishes around the world where backgrounds can be explored through friendly competition.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
23 hrs ago   #2
Unless you are aiming for admission as a diversity student, there is no need to mention that you one an applicant from South Africa. The reviewer will already have countless reminders that you are an international student applicant. What your should clarify is how you were exposed to the international debate stage and why your observations pushed you to become a bridge builder. By the way, consider adding being a participant to the event aside from the organizer roles. It still has a bridge builder role.

Your interest in participating in the baking festival came out of nowhere. I guess that is why it was not developed enough If does not carry the same excitement and interest that was displayed in the earlier paragraph. It would be better to not present that information anymore. It just distracts from an interesting presentation.


Home / Undergraduate / How I've been a Bridge Builder in High School (250 word limit) NYU Supplement
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳