Hi!
I am applying to NYU business school as a transfer applicant. Can you please critique my essays? They are very short. The max length of each one is 500 characters. I will really appreciate your help and answer your queries.
Thanks
1 Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.
As a descendant of successful businesspersons, a business student in high school and an intern at two export firms, I was enticed by the idea of exploring business from a young age. I liked the financial and economics side of the game most. As I want to enter into economic policy-making post graduate school, the business economics concentration and cross-minor opportunities in Public Policy and Management and Mathematics at Stern School would provide holistic preparation for me. (483 characters)
2 NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
A global network university is a globalized institution that allows sharing of ideas through its global initiatives and liberal education. Studying in NYC would mold me into a global citizen who reflects different perspectives of the world but still manages to maintain her individuality. It would help me to overcome stereotypes. At NYU, I look forward to bonding with my peers through various multicultural activities, with NYC through community service and with the world by studying abroad. (494 characters)
3 If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.
Being the only girl in my family, I was always told by my relatives that my grandfather would have been very proud of me had he been alive. I wish I could converse with him in my room about myself. I would show him how I have outstood his other grandchildren in academics, work and community service so he can bask in the glory as well. My room is a true depiction of my personality and accomplishments and I wish that he could know me well and see the resemblance between my personality and his'. (497 characters)
I am applying to NYU business school as a transfer applicant. Can you please critique my essays? They are very short. The max length of each one is 500 characters. I will really appreciate your help and answer your queries.
Thanks
1 Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.
As a descendant of successful businesspersons, a business student in high school and an intern at two export firms, I was enticed by the idea of exploring business from a young age. I liked the financial and economics side of the game most. As I want to enter into economic policy-making post graduate school, the business economics concentration and cross-minor opportunities in Public Policy and Management and Mathematics at Stern School would provide holistic preparation for me. (483 characters)
2 NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
A global network university is a globalized institution that allows sharing of ideas through its global initiatives and liberal education. Studying in NYC would mold me into a global citizen who reflects different perspectives of the world but still manages to maintain her individuality. It would help me to overcome stereotypes. At NYU, I look forward to bonding with my peers through various multicultural activities, with NYC through community service and with the world by studying abroad. (494 characters)
3 If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.
Being the only girl in my family, I was always told by my relatives that my grandfather would have been very proud of me had he been alive. I wish I could converse with him in my room about myself. I would show him how I have outstood his other grandchildren in academics, work and community service so he can bask in the glory as well. My room is a true depiction of my personality and accomplishments and I wish that he could know me well and see the resemblance between my personality and his'. (497 characters)