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'cadets working as a team' - extracurricular activities/work experiences



iShirley 1 / -  
May 21, 2012   #1
The prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I have written my short answer, and was hoping to have someone proofread it. Please help me critique it! Let me know if there is anything else I should add, that is if anyone knows about the AFJROTC program. Thank you in advance!

As a student in high school, I decided to take Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (AFJROTC) as an elective. Coming in as a freshman, I was young and immature. With this elective, it helped me develop character, manners, leadership skills, and many other important skills that are needed in the real world.

At the end of my high school career, as a senior, I was promoted to a flight commander. I was in charge of around 30 cadets. As a flight commander, I was chosen by my instructors to be the role model the underclassmen should look up to. Each day, I would take attendance, and the 10 flight commanders would take turns presenting something we called EAWOD. EAWOD stood for "Event, Airplane, and Word of the day." The current events would familiarize the students in the world today, the words would help underclassmen prepare for the SATs, and the airplane of the day would help cadets gain knowledge about aircraft.

AFJROTC continues to have cadets drill, and participate in drill competitions. In a flight, there are about 30 cadets with one commander. The commander is in charge, instructs the cadets on how to drill and how to work as a team, and must be able to be a leader. Commanders are given a routine that they must teach, and they must help cadets prepare for competitions. Competitions may be against other high schools, or within the corps. These competitions give the cadets and the commander motivation to work harder as a team.

The corps together would participate in many community service opportunities, like the Walk for Hunger fundraiser. Every week of the school year, there would be one or many community service opportunities posted on the board. Many cadets sign up for these opportunities to help better the community. We also participate in parades, help the U.S.S. Salem with their Haunted Ship during Halloween, and help elementary schools around our city academic-wise. Our biggest event of every school year would be the can drive. Every flight competes against each other to see who raises the most cans. As a corps together, we raise thousands of cans per year. Having everyone chip in for their flight allows cadets to work as a team.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
May 23, 2012   #2
WithThis elective, it helped me develop character, manners, leadership skills, and many other important skills that are needed in the real world.

At the end of my high school career, as a senior, I was promoted to a flight commander.

This is a little bit confusing, because it is so impersonal. You're saying a lot about what the AFJROTC is and does, but hardly anything about what you did. Just try to make it more personal if you can. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)


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