Nature drives design.
Design drives nature.
Human nature is bridled by ailments and limitations. However, with an ever-expanding wealth of knowledge and information propagating society, engineers test those limits.
Life was about ingenuity. Since the green age of 3, I've had a particular aversion to conventional toys. Instead, I would twist and fold the accompanying cardboard packaging with my woefully small hands, later presenting my "robots" to my parents with a goofy grin plastered on my face. Legos and Bionicle sets bored me, for the thrill that supposedly comes from what is essentially rebuilding a pre-made toy eluded me. Instead I built skyscrapers from chopsticks, cars from cardboard and the fundamentals of engineering from my passion.
It was only later on in life that I encountered the limitations of modern technology, as well as the indomitable spirit of human beings. 2008, an era when exoskeletons and 3D printing were unheard of to the general populous, my dearest friend Joe amputated his leg due to cancer. His new prosthetic did wonders, allowing him to walk, run, and do everything that a normal child could do.
Yet, it wasn't enough. His pain and discomfort was evident, even as he tried to smile through it all. Wanting to help but unable to do anything except temporarily distract him, I knew that I didn't want anyone else to go through such pain. I had to do something.
Thus began my fervent "quest", a rekindling of my creative passions. Multiple classes, self-studies and even an opportunity to do hands on research at the Governor's School only further propelled me to discover the multifaceted marvels of engineering and be an engineer that tests the limits of technological advancements. At Carnegie Mellon, I can be a part of the Biomechanics and Motor Control class taught by Professor Hartmut Geyer, where I would love to actively pursue his work regarding legged dynamics and human motor control. Not only that but I would also love to eventually work under his guidance and teachings, developing novel innovations that would vastly improve our current prosthetic technology.
Carnegie's of incorporating multiple engineering and science fields in the curriculum will allow me to pursue biomedical engineering as well as other fields of interest. The Computational Bio-Modeling and Visualization class does just that:incorporating biomedical engineering, mathematics, computer science and mechanical engineering to create computer simulations and models that are vital for an engineer's often dangerous and costly experiments.
Through such varied courses, I hope to one day develop a better type of synthetic skin that would no longer provide discomfort for amputees and create more efficient ways of implementing Brain-machine interfaces in prosthetics.
I know I will find inspiration and motivation within the College of Engineering Community Building Committee and wish to, eventually, be a part of the team committee.
So, I hope to open up a new chapter; a chapter at Carnegie Mellon, one step closer to my goals.
Christopher, I have some points for you to consider regarding the content of your essay. You see, the essay is quite strong but falls short of delivering on some important facets that could better portray your future, interests, and pursuits at the university in a supplemental fashion. That is why I believe that you can still strengthen your essay in two specific parts.
First, when you tell the story of your friend whose leg was amputated, you mention that his prosthetic leg rekindled your interest in engineering. You should specifically build up the information that this was the turning point for your interest in biomedical engineering. That way, you can build a foundation for the information that you sought to learn about at the Governor's School.
Second, your discussion about learning under Prof. Geyer needs more of a foundation. What I would like you to do in that part is add information about the kind of futuristic goal you have for prosthetic use. Make sure that it is a project or research that the reviewers will be impressed to learn about. It has to be so cutting edge in concept, that the university adcom will find themselves saying ; "We have to admit this student for the benefit of the university."
Finally, there is this portion in your essay that seems to have skipped a few ideas when you wrote it. What do you mean by ; "Carnegie's of incorporating multiple engineering and science fields in the curriculum will allow me to pursue biomedical engineering as well as other fields of interest" Carnegie's what? Complete the thought process of the first sentence so that the paragraph will make better sense and help to support your supplemental information.
Christopher, if you are worried about plagiarism, then, when you are done with consulting with us here at the forum, feel free to contact our forum admin to discuss how you can have your essay deleted from the forum database. it can be done and should be done if you are worried about plagiarism.
While plagiarism is not really something that normally occurs here, our admin is quite diligent when it comes to checking the posts of other students for possible plagiarism and those who are found to have been in violation of the user terms are banned and their essays deleted from the database. There is no real worry about other students using your essay here.
One final note, since the essays here are registered to your name, the essay will register at this forum as belonging to you. So there is no plagiarism in such instances. Just contact our admin or read our FAQ portion for more clarifications regarding plagiarism concerns.
