I'm from China and I want to apply for Brown.
Here is my personal statement.
Some of my classmates think it is boring...
but some think it is sensitive and creative.
So I'm confused... is it too risky?
Plz be harsh. All criticism is welcomed. Thank you all in advance!! :)
Topic of your choice.
I am what I am
I am:
A student who works hard all year round and loves learning only for learning's sake, but not just for a well-looking college transcript;
A daughter who always misses Mom and Dad when she was six years old in boarding school and at the time she lives in Beijing alone for four months while they are in Italy, to which a hemisphere to cross;
A teacher who carefully prepares for her English classes for Beijing taxi drivers who are even not able to recognize "A, B, C", feeling that she is doing a big thing that helps people touch the world;
A volunteer who stands under the scorching sun for 10 hours a day and repeats the same information wholeheartedly to thousands different people time and time again;
A leader who holds a Model United Nations Conference for the whole country and promotes it into a national-wide renowned conference, accepting being a paragon with mixed pride and nervousness;
A readingaholic who delves into books and is so intrigued by them that, although it is 1 a.m, she promises herself she will finish them before sleeps...
A pianist who plays piano since she was eight and lets the strings vibrate and the notes resonate in her heart as the beautiful melody of her colorful life;
A photographer who enjoys grasping all beautiful moments and lovely existence those turn up in her life as the given presents and precious memories;
A writer who keeps diary since elementary school and strives to capture on paper the essence of her life as she sees it;
An aesthete who reviews a film several times until mid-night to explore the way the director expresses his perception of the world and tries to establish her own view of the film which is considered the supreme form of art in her mind;
A tolerator who never intending to judge anyone she is acquainted with, instead she generally accepts the people around her and looks on the brighter side of them and learns from everyone;
An athlete who gets abraded, but, instead of simply quitting the Cross-country Orienteering competition, she perseveres in finishing it and breaks into the top rankings;
A friend who offers maximum number of advises - how to keep track on fashions, how to deal with the overwhelming homework - and greatest support on life, on love, and on family;
A dreamer who happily visualizes her picture when she becomes a college student or a lawyer, a filmmaker but trembles in the darkness of the heartache and obstacles future holds;
An economist who once failed to operate the pocket money she saved for a year which she poured into stock market and now is aware of the value of money and has had to work for it;
A young lady who is angry with the inequality in the society, the injustice in the wars, and the indifference of people, sincerely willing to shoulder the responsibility to change the world;
A skeptic who wants to believe in the unbearable lightness of being but cannot gloss over the mess that the heavy part of life creates for her;
A historian who inundate herself with history facts, comments and analysis, cherishing the past of human beings, seeking for avoiding the mistakes that have ever triggers badly destruction and asking herself - why we are here and where we are going;
An optimistic who supposes life is a maze and love is a riddle but fearlessly figures out her own way to decode them;
An idealist who believes in that having all her passion in what she is doing makes all the difference;
A perfectionist who must confirm that everything is in flawless condition, as a result, the tasks done by her sometimes take longer time...
A package of burning contradiction who is in one extreme, then totally another, keeping better herself through questioning herself;
A 17-year-old girl who just feels the beauty of life through trying new things and realizes a brand newer world is waiting for her across the Pacific Ocean;
I am what I am.
I am:
(here appears my name)
685 words in total
Here is my personal statement.
Some of my classmates think it is boring...
but some think it is sensitive and creative.
So I'm confused... is it too risky?
Plz be harsh. All criticism is welcomed. Thank you all in advance!! :)
Topic of your choice.
I am what I am
I am:
A student who works hard all year round and loves learning only for learning's sake, but not just for a well-looking college transcript;
A daughter who always misses Mom and Dad when she was six years old in boarding school and at the time she lives in Beijing alone for four months while they are in Italy, to which a hemisphere to cross;
A teacher who carefully prepares for her English classes for Beijing taxi drivers who are even not able to recognize "A, B, C", feeling that she is doing a big thing that helps people touch the world;
A volunteer who stands under the scorching sun for 10 hours a day and repeats the same information wholeheartedly to thousands different people time and time again;
A leader who holds a Model United Nations Conference for the whole country and promotes it into a national-wide renowned conference, accepting being a paragon with mixed pride and nervousness;
A readingaholic who delves into books and is so intrigued by them that, although it is 1 a.m, she promises herself she will finish them before sleeps...
A pianist who plays piano since she was eight and lets the strings vibrate and the notes resonate in her heart as the beautiful melody of her colorful life;
A photographer who enjoys grasping all beautiful moments and lovely existence those turn up in her life as the given presents and precious memories;
A writer who keeps diary since elementary school and strives to capture on paper the essence of her life as she sees it;
An aesthete who reviews a film several times until mid-night to explore the way the director expresses his perception of the world and tries to establish her own view of the film which is considered the supreme form of art in her mind;
A tolerator who never intending to judge anyone she is acquainted with, instead she generally accepts the people around her and looks on the brighter side of them and learns from everyone;
An athlete who gets abraded, but, instead of simply quitting the Cross-country Orienteering competition, she perseveres in finishing it and breaks into the top rankings;
A friend who offers maximum number of advises - how to keep track on fashions, how to deal with the overwhelming homework - and greatest support on life, on love, and on family;
A dreamer who happily visualizes her picture when she becomes a college student or a lawyer, a filmmaker but trembles in the darkness of the heartache and obstacles future holds;
An economist who once failed to operate the pocket money she saved for a year which she poured into stock market and now is aware of the value of money and has had to work for it;
A young lady who is angry with the inequality in the society, the injustice in the wars, and the indifference of people, sincerely willing to shoulder the responsibility to change the world;
A skeptic who wants to believe in the unbearable lightness of being but cannot gloss over the mess that the heavy part of life creates for her;
A historian who inundate herself with history facts, comments and analysis, cherishing the past of human beings, seeking for avoiding the mistakes that have ever triggers badly destruction and asking herself - why we are here and where we are going;
An optimistic who supposes life is a maze and love is a riddle but fearlessly figures out her own way to decode them;
An idealist who believes in that having all her passion in what she is doing makes all the difference;
A perfectionist who must confirm that everything is in flawless condition, as a result, the tasks done by her sometimes take longer time...
A package of burning contradiction who is in one extreme, then totally another, keeping better herself through questioning herself;
A 17-year-old girl who just feels the beauty of life through trying new things and realizes a brand newer world is waiting for her across the Pacific Ocean;
I am what I am.
I am:
(here appears my name)
685 words in total