college app essay about my mom's battle with cancer

I want to know if the essay is good and if there's anything I can do to improve it!
prompt : The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

*keep in mind that this is a very rough draft*

In elementary school science class, I first learned the concept of cancer. I listened to this lesson like I would all the others, never really giving it a second thought, thinking, "Why should I care, this can never affect me". This is how I used to view life; never thinking twice about something and never caring too much. However, this whole philosophy that I used to live by all changed when my mom got diagnosed with cancer the day before my 12th birthday.

I was at Main Event with my grandma and grandpa celebrating my early birthday. When we got home, I could feel something shift in the air. My dad sat me down and told me that my mom was diagnosed with stage four breasat cancer. Even still, with the mindset I was in, I never really fully processed this information, and I still believed that it wouldn't be that big of a deal and after a couple of days it wouldn't matter anymore and she'd be fine. I was wrong.

Going through my young teenage years seeing my mom in so much pain was the most challenging thing I've been through. My mental health plummeted, and all I wasted to do was cry all day, but for some reason I felt so guilty letting myself cry. My mom, even while going through all these treatments and having her own life get flipped upside down, always kept a smile on her face and never seemed to let any of it affect her.

Eventually, I was able to come to terms with everything that was happening and felt a shift in my own life. Before everything happened, I was just going through my day to day life not appreciating everything as I should. I also never fully understood my own emotions. I never faced anything this detrimental that woud make me feel any srot of way. However, after having to see one the most important figures in my life go through something so horrendous, I was able to see things in a new light. Everyday that I woke up, I was grateful to even be here and be healthy. I never took any time I had for granted, especially the time I got to spend with my mom.

Second semester of my freshman year, my mom passed away.

The transition from middle school to high school was a hard one for me, and it took a while to get used to. Adding my mothers passing to this, I was having a really hard time. All the values I started implementing into my life had all gone out the window. It was like I was starting from scratch, and it wasn't good for me. It was a chore for me to do basic everyday things like getting out of bed.

Little by little I started making myself take these old values I followed and start getting them back into my life. I started trying to find big things to be appreciative over. Over time, these big things turned into little things until I didn't need something specific and I was able to just be happy to be alive. I also was able to appreciate the time I got to spend with others. At first I would isolate myself in my room all day and dread the moment I would have to leave my room and see others, but it slowly turned to me getting excited to get out of my room and see and get to interact with others.

Now, as a high school senior, I'm able to find joy in anything I do and appreciate every moment I have. While it took a long six years to get to the point I'm at, I don't regret one moment of this journey. I wouldn't be where I'm at as a person without the struggle I've been through.

What you went through does not qualify as an obstacle, challenge, setback, or failure. This is a personal tragedy that would fall better under the prompt related to you telling a story about yourself that you feel would complete your presentation. The way the story is told in this essay, from your childhood, to your most recent high school mindset does not offer an insight as to how you handle an obstacle and the lessons that you learned from it. At this point, you have 2 options. The first option, is to write a new essay that singularly focuses on your development from a particular setback. The other, is to use this essay, but using the aforementioned prompt instead. That would save you rewriting time. The choice is yours to make.