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College essay about gay rights (issue of importance)



brum925 1 / 2  
Oct 29, 2010   #1
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

It's for the University of Texas, what do you think?

I reclined in the back corner of a church classroom. I was a reluctant
participant, dragged to youth group by my well-intentioned friend. I was a
detached observer amid a sea of believers. I was an ambivalent 15-year-old.
The sermon began when a plump middle-aged man waddled on to the stage and
without delay, delved into a delicate topic.
"Sex between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is disgusting."
I fidgeted in my plastic chair but, said nothing. I allowed the lies and the
ignorance to seep over me and my companions. I did not even struggle when the
intolerance enveloped me.
I am now a passionate 17-year-old, eager to confront the villain who stoked
my self-hatred. I back track through my memories, passing by murky
half-forgotten scenes from years past. Here it is, March 2009. A short
description is scrawled above the membranous entrance to the memory. I thrust
my head through the flimsy barrier that separates the past from the present. I
am absorbed by the cytoplasmic substance and materialize in the back corner of
a church classroom. I settle into a plastic chair.
John ascends to the stage and grips the microphone. That is his name, like
the prophet who was born to sterile parents. He gazes upon 40 young people.
Statistically, at least four are gay.
"Sex between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is..."
My hand shoots up, "Excuse me, sir!"
"Yes?"
"Love between people is beautiful, regardless of their genders."
"Homosexuality is unnatural. It is a sexual perversion. The bible forbids
it. If homosexuals were allowed to marry, the sanctity of marriage
would be destroyed."
"Singing is unnatural. Painting is unnatural. Altruism is unnatural. These
things are beautiful. They distinguish humans from beasts. The bible also
forbids freeing ones slaves or cutting ones hair but, we acknowledge that these
restrictions have become obsolete. They are ghosts that haunt us. Perhaps it is
time to retire the verses that condemn gay people."
"The bible is eternal. It conveys the word of God. The word of God is law."
"That would be true if we lived in a theocracy. However, in the US, there is
no state sponsored religion. Citizens have freedom of belief. Preserving the
sanctity of marriage by making it illegal for gays to marry is a violation of
this right. What about separation of church and state?"
"We are one nation under God."
"We are one nation under *insert personal beliefs here.*"
"The purpose of marriage is to produce children. Homosexuals cannot
reproduce."
"There are six billion people on earth. We don't need more children. Gay
couples can adopt children who would otherwise suffer in poverty."
"Children raised by homosexuals are more likely to become homosexuals
themselves."
"Where is the proof? Where are the facts? You have no evidence! How can you
destroy people's lives over something so intangible? Why am I denied basic
rights?"
The plastic chair is flung to the floor, and 40 faces stare, transfixed. The
walls of the room begin to bleed, revealing a pulsing membrane beneath. Pastor
John's features fade and a formidable, dark being stands elevated on the stage.
I am expelled from the memory.
I materialize back into the corridor that winds through my mind. I lean
forward, and peer into the nook where my brush with homophobia plays on
repeat.
"Sex between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is disgusting."
Five years from now I want to be able to walk in public with my lover,
holding hands, without people folding their stares like hate notes into my
pocket. Ten years from now I want to marry. Twenty years from
now I want to adopt. And sixty years from now, as I lie on my death bed, I want
to know that my lover will be allowed in to say goodbye.

CDDSR 1 / 2  
Oct 31, 2010   #2
The sermon began when a plump middle-aged man waddled onto the stage and

I allowed the lies and the ignorance to seep over me and my companions.--> this is a pretty bold statement and while some may agree with you, others will not. so, it is better to leave anything that could be considered argumentative or debateable out of the essay because you cannot know the opinions of the AO and how it may affect their decision. (It is good though that you have an opinion you stand up for but i would stick with calling it "intolerance")

A short
description is scrawled above the membranous entrance to my memory.

John, the man conducting this lesson, (or something to that affect) ascends to the stage and grips the microphone. That is his name, like
the prophet who was born to sterile parents


You make several mentions of membranes and one of cytoplasm...is there a goal in this? i would consider using different metaphors.

In general, you essay is very interesting and makes a good argument, but keep in mind it is a topic that some have a fiery passion for.


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