For applicants to The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. (300 words or less)
Jazz band was the last class I expected to use mathematics.
So, when I saw numbers on the music theory worksheet-a list of pentatonic scales in numbered musical notations-I was surprised. Numbers? In jazz? It never occurred to me to approach music from an analytical perspective; I only understood music as an art, to be mastered with practice and intuition. I tried to make sense of the seemingly random sequences of numbers and symbols, but with little success. Being both the curious mathematician and the uncompromising musician, I was determined to decipher the numerical code to uncover what secrets to music it may behold.
I eventually discovered that the numbers were used to restore order to the chaotic universe of jazz. Every musical element had a numerical counterpart; chords can be described with ratios, musical scales can be expressed with permutations, and melodies can be identified with set theory. I was thrilled; I was learning a completely different way to perceive music. I eventually found myself interested in the world of musical analysis and engineering, exploring new possibilities to connect music with numbers, figures, and computations.
The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science empowers me to pursue this interest, providing both the depth of the finest scientific education and the breadth of the extensive Core Curriculum-which happens to include a wealth of music courses in the Department of Music. I can also take full advantage of the abundant research opportunities in order to investigate contemporary topics, such as algorithmic composition and musical interactivity, at the Computer Music Center. I do not wish to be bound to a single passion or interest; only at Columbia Engineering I can become the computer engineer and the artistic musician-and maybe even more.
Did I emphasize too much on my personal experience and not enough about the school?
I'm also worried about grammar here...so any help is appreciated!
Hi,Kisakina. You essay is very well.
I don't think you emphasize too much on your personal experience and not enough about the school because presenting your excellent personal experience to the school is the only way for school to judge you. Moreover, you emphasized the school in the end of the essay and you did a good job in inserting your thought and dream in the applying project.
Here are some gramma corrections that I find.
So, （Thus，so is link words， thus is adverb，use an adverb here is correct) when I saw numbers on the music theory worksheet-a list of pentatonic scales in numbered musical notations-I was surprised. Numbers? In jazz?
(In order to / to be) Being both the curious mathematician and the uncompromising musician, I was determined to decipher the numerical code to uncover what secrets to music it may behold.
I eventually (repeated word on the above) found myself interested (fall in love with )in the world of musical analysis and engineering （in the end)
Hiromu, you don't have to worry about whether you presented too much of your personal aspect in the essay because the prompt gives you the option to discuss either the academic or personal attraction to your fields of interest. So using a personal point of view, and a personal connection between your interests that may be unique only to your understanding of things, is something that is well received by the reviewer of this essay.
Since you were able to successfully relate the subject of music theory to the study of engineering, you can be confident that you properly responded to the prompt. While there are a few grammar errors here and there, I would not pay too much attention to it since you are not a native English speaker and it did not affect the overall discussion in the essay. However, if you wish to have me edit your essay for grammar problems, or if you want me to try and enhance the discussion, then all you have to do is ask :-) I would not want to jump in and edit your essay if you would not be comfortable with me doing that.
Please be critical and edit my grammatical problems; any help would be appreciated! Thank you~!
Hiromu, I only edited the earlier part of your essay because I noticed a conflict with your concluding paragraph and the prompt requirements. Here is the edited part first:
Jazz band was the last class where I expected to use mathematics.
So, when I saw numbers on the music theory worksheet-a list of pentatonic scales in numbered musical notations-I was surprised. It never occurred to me to approach music from an analytical perspective; I only understood music as an art, to be mastered with practice and intuition.
I tried to make sense of the seemingly random sequences of numbers and symbols, but with little success. Being both a curious mathematician and uncompromising musician, I was determined to decipher the numerical code to uncover what secrets to music it may behold...
With regards to your conclusion, you are not supposed to discuss anything about your potential future education at the university. According to the prompt, your concentration needs to be only on"your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study"... So referring to your future interests and academic study at the university in the conclusion is out of place. Try to develop a more proper closing statement that simply ties up the past and current experiences that you have in a concluding manner. Just offer information that is required and nothing more. Adding information that is not specified in the prompt will just be disregarded by the reviewer and not help your application at all. If anything, it will jeopardize it as you will prove to be unable to follow specific instructions as provided.
Thank you vangiespen for noticing that...whoa, that could've hurt me big time.
Jazz band was the last class I expected to use mathematics.
So, when I saw numbers on the music theory worksheet-a list of pentatonic scales in numbered musical notations-I was surprised. I only understood music as an art, to be mastered with practice and intuition; it never occurred to me to approach music from an analytical perspective.
I tried to make sense of the seemingly random sequences of numbers and symbols, but with little success. Being both a curious mathematician and an uncompromising musician, I was determined to decipher the numerical code to uncover what secrets to music it may behold.
I soon realized that the numbers were used to restore order to the chaotic universe of jazz. Every musical element had a numerical counterpart; chords can be described with ratios, musical scales can be expressed with permutations, and melodies can be identified with set theory. As I made more connections between mathematics and music, I started to notice that I heard music differently; I recognized that the upright bass walked in algorithmic patterns and that the tenor saxophone responded by playing harmonic melodies. I was thrilled by the epiphany; I was learning a completely different way to understand music.
All of a sudden, new possibilities began to emerge. If music can be modeled mathematically, can computers recognize good music, conduct an orchestra, or compose a masterpiece? I then discovered that these fascinating questions can be answered in the world of musical analysis and engineering through technology such as algorithmic composition and musical interactivity. I want to explore these realms and advance them, finding new ways to connect music with numbers, figures, equations, and computations.
Would this be better? I feel like the conclusion seems kind of "tacked on"...
Horomu, I honestly do not find your conclusion "tacked on". There is nothing forcing through about it from the way i read it. Your concluding discussion actually seems to tie the whole essay together because it accurately represents the attraction that you have for these seemingly unrelated fields of study.
What you have to do though, is format the essay paragraphs properly so that you don't feel like something is wrong when you start to read the conclusion. Let me show you how to fix that :-)
I soon realized that the numbers were used to restore order to the chaotic universe of jazz. Every musical element had a numerical counterpart; chords can be described with ratios, musical scales can be expressed with permutations, and melodies can be identified with set theory. As I made more connections between mathematics and music, I started to notice that I heard music differently; I recognized that the upright bass walked in algorithmic patterns and that the tenor saxophone responded by playing harmonic melodies. I was thrilled by the epiphany; I was learning a completely different way to understand music. All of a sudden, new possibilities began to emerge. If music can be modeled mathematically, can computers recognize good music, conduct an orchestra, or compose a masterpiece?
I then discovered that these fascinating questions can be answered in the world of musical analysis and engineering through the development of technology such as algorithmic composition and musical interactivity. I want to explore these seemingly unrelated realms and advance them. My interests in these fields lie in finding new ways to connect music with numbers, figures, equations, and computations in a world that I call music engineering.
