Columbia supplement, "undecided but leaning towards biology"

In the summer of 2010, I spent a month in the hospital caring for my sick grandfather, the man I am closest with even more than my dad. I spent more hours assisting him in the hospital than I did at my grandmother's condominium where I resided. At the hospital, I witnessed a lot of intricate examinations and procedures that the doctors performed on him. I became instantly fascinated by the activities that take places inside a hospital especially around the operating room. I was intrigued by the human body and the capabilities the body can withstand and endure. I watched as the doctors cut a path in my grandfather so that they can squeeze a chest tube into his lungs so that he can get postural draining for the mucus that was clogged inside him. I knew then that I wanted to study biology and medicine because at the hospital, the thought of watching a new procedure and acquiring new information about the human body selfishly overshadowed the thought of helping my grandfather get better. I am hooked by the challenge in the problem solving in medicine and I want to be able to explore deeper into this field. I now study AP Biology at school and it is one of my most devoted classes because the information and concepts taught draws a significant part of my academic interests. Therefore, through my experience inside the hospital and fascination with the human body, I see biology as a highly potential major for me.

I like this essay,

good luck!

Some language suggestions

the man I am closest with even more than my dad maybe: the man I am closest to
"so that they can squeeze a chest tube into his lungs so that he can get" so that can is used two times

the challenge of solving problems in medicine
I want to be able to explore this field deeper
take place
draw
Other than that a good essay.

I think its really good, love the way how you linked the two. your experience with your grandfather was very touching and your essay answers the question its really quite good.