Common App Short Essay: Center Stage

SHORT ANSWER: Please elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences. (150 words or less)

CENTER STAGE
A single spotlight shines on my face. All around me is darkness and silence. It is as though the world as I know it ceases to exist and I am a different person, one with a new perspective and a new life. On that dark stage, I am anyone but me--an innocent little child, a perky blonde, a strong-willed rebellious fugitive, or a serious yet wise teacher. It is like I have disappeared and a new character comes to life: the one person the world is waiting for, the one on whom all the attention is on. Being the focus of hundreds of eyes brings out a gnawing, churning sensation in my stomach and a feeling of being invincible and powerful. There is nothing like the feeling of being on stage. Most people are scared of this brand of attention paid to them. However, I am most alive in these moments. Each time I am on stage is the culmination of weeks, of years or even of a lifetime of learned hard work, patience, dedication, and discipline. In essence, it is a reward for giving my best and pushing myself beyond my limits. Then, all of a sudden, the lights fade and the curtain goes down. It's all over.

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Hi! Do you think this is a suitable answer to the prompt? I also need help shortening this. So far. It is 210 words. Do you have any suggestions how I can shorten this? Thanks! Any other commentary or critiquing is greatly appreciated too! :)

I love your essay, it is so vivid, one of the most captivating essays I read.

I am not an English native speaker so will not critique the grammar, and will focus my comments on the content.

I think as it currently stands it doesn't fully answer the question. These are the things you need to add to make it perfect and be answering the question:

1- In which context did you act (at school, in some professional institution, etc.). I would replace "there is nothing like the feeling of being on stage" (it's a bit repetitive) with "Whichever stage I am on, at school or xxx or xx, I am always taken by the moment" or something of the sort. Basically, just say where you acted.

2- For how long have you been doing it: you add that to this sentence: "Each time I am on stage is the culmination of weeks..". Just start by: "For the past xx year I have been acting, each time I am on stage...".

3- How did your passion to acting help you in your daily life. Your conclusion needs to be changed. You can't say: "Then, all of a sudden, the lights fade and the curtain goes down. It's all over." Though I love the phrasing and it paints a beautiful picture, it doesn't do you good. It infers that your whole life is centered around acting which I am sure is not the case. You need to show you are a well rounded person with many interests. Maybe say that acting helped you better deal with real life situations, and communicate better with people since you're able to adapt and improvise fast.

I think the general concept is great and that you really shouldn't edit any of the content out. I also thought this was an interesting approach to the prompt, and the question is answered fairly well. In an attempt to make it shorter ^ only those parts need to be taken out.. and if more does, then you can cut down one of your "different character" descriptions, i.e. perky blonde, strong-willed rebellious fugitive, or whichever one

oh! beautiful. This is a beautiful sentence. I like.

It is as though the world as I know it ceases to exist and I am ...-----an idea to enhance you brevity.

:-)

Trim away the "of"
Each time I am on stage is the culmination of weeks, years, or even a lifetime of learned hard work, patience, dedication, and discipline-------like that. But I don't know, I think I would take away the reference to "or even a lifetime"